Saturday, February 19, 2011

Uh-huh. We knew it all along.

-Balloon2

Flow charts explained




































When top level guys look down, they see only shit heads;
When bottom level guys look up, they see only assholes...
This could also apply to our government......

-Balloon2

Yeah, it's on. Wait, no it's not. Well, maybe.....

OTTAWA - The organizer of an area coyote-killing contest says he's been given the green light by the province's wildlife ministry.
Not so, say wildlife advocates, who claim the contest's illegal, and the ministry itself won't say one way or the other.
Al Mills, the owner of Al's Corner Store in Arnprior, vows to proceed with his cull contest -- what's more, he says the day the current one ends, the next one will begin.
That's made Mills Public Enemy #1 for animal rights activists, who are livid that one of the prizes awarded those who drag in coyote carcasses is a shiny new shotgun.
They cite the Wildlife Policy Section of the Ontario Ministry of Natural Resources that reads: "... it is an offence to hunt for gain, or to induce another person to hunt for gain."
Mills shrugged that off. "We were granted permission from the MNR," he claimed. "They've called us personally and said, yes, they're 100% behind us."
But a spokeswoman for the ministry said Thursday that the contest may, in fact, be illegal. On the other hand, she added, it may not be.
"Every situation has its own unique elements to be considered," said Jolanta Kowalski. "In the Ottawa area, coyotes can be hunted year round and there's no limit on the number of animals one can kill. But each situation has unique elements that must be considered."
In other words, charges may or may not be laid.

Damn, Shayne! Politicians are the same all over, aren't they?

Long stabby thing?

This is what happens in a country that has total gun control. You have to protect your family with long stabby things or golf clubs so you "can whack them off from a distance".



-Orbitup

But it's a family trip, not a vacation..... Grrrrr...

First Lady Michelle Obama is on “a private family trip” in Colorado where she is skiing with daughters Sasha and Malia, according to an administration official.
“The First Lady and several close friends are chaperoning their children on a ski trip,” the official told the press pool reporter who is following President Obama today.
Reports coming out of Colorado say she arrived Friday night and is staying at the Sebastian Hotel on Vail Mountain. Rooms start at $605 per night for a room with two queen beds and head north of $2,000 for multi-bedroom suites.
Mrs. Obama has decided to jet out to Vail – instead of visiting slopes closer to Washington DC in Virginia or Pennsylvania – despite already incurring criticism for taking opulent excursions, particularly a trip last summer to Spain. There, she stayed at the country’s swankest hotel and, like this weekend, was traveling without her husband.
Mrs. Obama also raised eyebrows in December when she left earlier than President Obama for their annual vacation in Hawaii, incurring added expenses for taxpayers that likely ran well in excess of $100,000.
The trip to Vail, which almost certainly requires use of a large Air Force jet, would likely be much more expensive for taxpayers than a shorter journey by chopper or motorcade to a resort near Washington. Mrs. Obama will likely pay for a portion of her trip, but many costs of a first lady’s travel are borne by taxpayers.

http://www.whitehousedossier.com/2011/02/19/michelle-obama-skiing-colorado/

Shit, when I was a kid our family trips were day trips. And the above article mentions an annual vacation to Hawaii? Just what in the fuck was the trip to Spain? And what about that trip to Florida earlier? The author must've misspoke - he meant their annual trip to Hawaii, not their annual vacation.
I'd like to see, just once, a complete total of what the Presidents' vacations have cost the American taxpayers, and I mean a complete total including lodging, transportation, boarding costs for that stupid looking dog, security, greens fees, extra-soft asswipe, the cost of disrupting real Americans' lives to allow for them to travel unimpeded through towns, every-motherfucking-thing that is directly or indirectly associated with their many vacations. Hell, I'd even settle for a rough guesstimate with a + or - factor of a few hundred thousand bucks.
I wouldn't even consider taking a vacation that would put me into debt, but Wingnut and BoobyBelt don't have a problem digging us in a little deeper every 2 or 3 months.
Hey, I ain't begrudging anybody a vacation, but fuck, let's keep them down to a reasonable number like 1 a year. And budget 'em out. Cut corners and eat a goddam chicken leg instead of caviar for a change, huh? Try to keep in mind you're doing all this on my motherfucking dime.
Sonofafuckingbitch, I can't even afford gas to go hunt a mangy motherfucking coyote and these...... godammit, I need a fucking drink which I also can't afford......
Fuck Obama (for Paul in Texas)

The Damage Obama Has Done

You want to see in black and white what The Obamessiah has done for our economy?
Follow the link below and see for yourself.
http://www.dickmorris.com/blog/the-damage-obama-has-done/
But please notice one thing - the only figures that have decreased is the Present Situation Index, the Dollar-Yen exchange rate and most importantly, the Median Household Income.

In case you were wondering.....

My "guest" left this morning once the weather broke, dry and fed.
Other than an hours' worth of laundry and a few meals, I lost nothing. I gave him a few extra things including a sleeping bag and a tarp but nothing I would miss.
He did comment on the number of coyotes he could hear yipping in the alley at night, "almost like somebody was feeding them or something." Or calling them in maybe? I just grinned.
And he gave me a message phone number where he could be reached so he could work off his debt when the weather dried out.

Lighten up on the comments, y'all overloaded me on my earlier post.

Yup, another kind and tolerant dictator's fixing to go down.

CAIRO – Moammar Gadhafi's forces fired on mourners leaving a funeral for protesters Saturday in the eastern city of Benghazi, killing at least 15 people and wounding scores more as the regime tried to squelch calls for an end to the ruler's 42-year grip on power.
Libyan protesters were back on the street for the fifth straight day, but Gadhafi has taken a hard line toward the dissent that has ripped through the Middle East and swept him up with it. Government forces also wiped out a protest encampment and clamped down on Internet service throughout Libya.

For Niki

Niki commented on my "Lanes' Predator Control - 'cause that's how we roll, bitches" post saying I should take a closer picture of my buddy Rick so she could see the shit-eating grin she remembers.
Here's one from the archives, taken at work a year or so ago.

Deadicated. Or "He looks SO natural......"

Straight Up White Trash, God Bless Her

She sure is proud of her drawers, aint she?

Now we're talking!

Pirates hijack 4 Americans; US mulls responses

NAIROBI, Kenya – The United States government on Saturday said it was assessing possible responses after Somali pirates hijacked a yacht with four Americans on board in the Arabian sea off the coast of Somalia.
Pirates hijacked the yacht Quest on Friday, two days after a Somali pirate was sentenced to 33 years in prison by a New York court for the 2009 hijacking of the Maersk Alabama. That case ended in a spectacular rescue when Navy sharpshooters killed two pirates holding the ship's captain, Richard Phillips.
The Quest is the home of Jean and Scott Adam, a couple who has been sailing around the world since December 2004, according to a website the Adams keep.
A U.S. military spokesman at Central Command in Florida said: "We're aware of the situation and we continue to monitor it."
Matt Goshko, a spokesman at the U.S. Embassy in Nairobi, Kenya, which oversees Somalia, said preliminary reports indicate there are four U.S. citizens aboard the Quest.
"All relevant U.S. agencies are monitoring the situation, working to develop further information, assess options and possible responses," Goshko said.

Allow me to interpet:
Because the seizure took place off the coast of our Dear Leaders' homeland, no actions at all will be taken until they re-enter Somali waters. At that time, payments will be deposited in the bank of their choice, apologies will be made for inconveniencing the pirates, they will be reimbursed for fuel and food, and a bowing/nut-rubbin' party by The Obamessiah will be scheduled at the pirates' leisure. 

Thursday, February 17, 2011

Maybe this will get me into heaven. Naw, probably not.

I've got a pretty good sized back yard with a 4 foot chain link dividing it in half for a couple of reasons: For security reasons and the front half I try to keep half-ass nice. I got some shit stored in the back like an old camper shell under the lemon tree, some scrap iron, shit like that.
This morning I was out picking a couple of lemons for cooking and I noticed the grass was trampled down around the front of the camper shell and there were some scuff marks just inside it. Hmmm, something to keep an eye on.
It's been raining like a motherfucker all night last night and all day today. I wasn't in the mood for work so I called in and had a lazy day. When I let CharlieGodammit out this afternoon he got all squirrelly, and when I went out to see what was up I noticed some movement towards the back of that camper shell. People movement, dammit.
I went back in grabbed my shorty, then went back out. "Let me see some palms, motherfucker."
I guess the shotgun convinced him that I wasn't in a mood to be fucked with. He rolled on his stomach and held his hands out. "My knife's in my bag and I mean no harm, mister. I'm just trying to dry out. Please."
Fuck. "How'd you get in the yard? And why mine? Talk."
"I was doing some yardwork for your neighbor 2 doors down a few days ago and I seen this camper through the fences. When it started storming I remembered it so I skinnied up the telephone pole and dropped into your yard. Man, the shelters are all full, my tent got cut up by the cops and I got no place to go. If you won't shoot me, I'll leave. But I'd appreciate the dry place to sleep tonight, mister."
Remind me to plant a cactus bed under that telephone pole...........
"If you let me sleep here til it clears, I'll work it off, I promise. I ain't no thief. You noticed you still got all this scrap metal?"
"Give me your ID so I can check if you're a sex offender. If you are, be gone when I come back because I'm sending a load of buckshot through that camper."
He gave it to me and I ran his name through the sex offenders' listing on line. Nothing. Fuck, I'm REALLY undecided about this. He doesn't look like a dope fiend (he has more teeth than I do), nothing is missing from my house, yard or garage and something about his actions tell me he's not kidding.
I walk back out, hand him his ID and tell him he's gonna owe me a days' labor this weekend.
As I'm walking back to my warm dry house, I look back.
"You ate lately? Your bedding dry?"
"I had a couple of your oranges earlier. Sucking on a lemon now. I haven't had meat in a couple of days now. And everything's soaked." He grinned at me. He knew he had me when I flipped the shorty over my shoulder.
I went in the garage and dug out a spare sleeping bag, a tarp, and a plastic garbage bag.
"Put your wet shit in the bag. Dinner will be in an hour. Hope you like Mexican."
"Man, I appreciate this. And I'd eat a cat turd if you warmed it up."
"Don't mention it. Any of mine or my neighbors' shit comes up missing they'll find the catfish feeding on your ass downriver in the spring. I suggest you guard it."
So I've spent the last couple of hours washing his fucking clothes and bedding, cooking a better meal than I had planned and scrounging up some extra shit I don't have any use for.
What really pissed me off was that I had already done my good deed for the week on Tuesday when I got a can of beans down from the top shelf for an old lady in the store.

Damn, I'm excited!

I got a new CD in the mail today, "Lovesick, Broke & Driftin'" by Hank WIlliams III.
Damn, Hank III sounds just like his granddaddy and except for the tattoos and long hair, he looks like him too.
Take a listen at him here:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Uxaf9IfTKDU&feature=related
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8VoU5kmqasY

I first saw him on "The Wild & Wonderful Whites of West Virginia", a documentary on Jesco Whites' family (Straight up White Trash, God bless 'em all) and was shocked on the resemblance between him and Hank Sr.
So the other day I went to http://www.half.com/ and picked up a CD for a couple of bucks and played it while I did housework and danced around the house.
Hank III plays Hank Sr type of music but he also plays what he describes as "hellbilly" and punk country. Not sure if I'll enjoy the punk shit but it sounds like the hellbilly I've seen on youtube is right up my alley.

By the way, if you get a chance check out the Jesco White documentary that I mentioned. It kicks ass. It's available on Netflicks, both streaming video and DVD.
Have lots of beer on hand.........

And The Obamessiah probably will

BAGHDAD (Reuters) – Iraq's capital wants the United States to apologize and pay $1 billion for the damage done to the city not by bombs but by blast walls and Humvees since the U.S.-led invasion that toppled Saddam Hussein.
The city's government issued its demands in a statement on Wednesday that said Baghdad's infrastructure and aesthetics have been seriously damaged by the American military.
"The U.S. forces changed this beautiful city to a camp in an ugly and destructive way, which reflected deliberate ignorance and carelessness about the simplest forms of public taste," the statement said.
"Due to the huge damage, leading to a loss the Baghdad municipality cannot afford...we demand the American side apologize to Baghdad's people and pay back these expenses."

We oughta tell 'em to go get fucked. War is all about blowing things up, breaking shit, having fun and killing the enemy while keeping our casualties down to an absolute minimum which in urban warfare means constructing blast walls.

Obama to visit The United Kingdom in May

LONDON -- President Barack Obama will make a state visit to Britain in May at the invitation of Queen Elizabeth II, officials said Thursday.
Prime Minister David Cameron's office said it is pleased that Obama has accepted the invitation to visit the U.K. along with first lady Michelle Obama from May 24-26. The trip will come just before a G-8 summit in France, which Obama is expected to attend.
Obama is expected to meet with Cameron while he is in the country, and the prime minister's office said the visit demonstrates the strong and enduring relationship between the two countries.
The White House confirmed the trip, noting it will be the president's first state visit to a European country. Further details on the visit will be made available at a later time, White House spokesman Jay Carney said.
Obama's state visit to the U.K. will be the first by a U.S. president since George W. Bush came in November 2003. Obama was in London for the G-20 summit in 2009, but that was not a state visit.
In keeping with tradition, Obama and his wife will stay at Buckingham Palace. The U.S. president will receive a full ceremonial welcome and a banquet will be held in his honor.


Let's just hope that The Obamessiah and BoobyBelt learned something about etiquette since his last visit - that he brings appropriate gifts this time and BB keeps her fucking hands off the Queen.

Cue fundamentalist Muslim howls of outrage in 3... 2...1...

Click to enlarge

- http://thelibertyzone.com/ via Skidmark

Wednesday, February 16, 2011

Bacon. Mmmmm, bacon......

Bacon even goes good with pussy.
You just knew I was gonna say that, didn't you?

Fuck islam

Everybody on the left was so excited about the peaceful, orderly protests in Egypt that led to an overthrow of the government.

 Tell that shit to Lara Logan, a 60 Minutes correspondent who was separated from her crew during the "peaceful festivities" and then sexually assaulted while covering the celebrations in Egypt that followed Mubarak's resignation.
She's recovering in a hospital from her attack.

Every time I hear about "moderate" muslims and their "peace-loving" religion, I want to fucking puke.

Lanes' Predator Control - 'cause that's how we roll, bitches.

My buddy Rick leaning against his truck sporting my tailgate advertisement.

CIA: If caught, bin Laden would be sent to Gitmo

WASHINGTON – What would the government do if Osama bin Laden, an FBI most-wanted terrorist for more than a decade, were captured?
Washington is abuzz about questions whether bin Laden would ever see the inside of an American courtroom or where he might be imprisoned if he doesn't stand trial. The discussion, which on Wednesday bounced from Capitol Hill to the White House, is still mostly an academic exercise because there is no suggestion that the government is any closer to finding or capturing bin Laden, believed to be hiding in Pakistan.
For years, President Barack Obama's administration has maintained that criminal courts were more than equipped to handle even the most serious terror cases, but when faced with that question Wednesday during a Senate hearing, CIA Director Leon Panetta said the administration probably would just send bin Laden to the U.S. prison at Guantanamo Bay, Cuba.


The perfect poetic justice would be a young Jewish PFC from Manhatten finding him in a cave, kneecapping him with a pair of 5.56s and a shot to the guts, and watching him writhe in pain before reporting his impending death to his redneck platoon sergeant who would liberally rub bacon grease all over him just before beheading him with a dull bayonet.
I'm just sayin'.........

Tuesday, February 15, 2011

Gotta get one

They actually had virgins? Oh yeah. Nine year olds...

Sure, go ahead and add him.

Patriot Act extended. Thanks, fuckers.

WASHINGTON -- The Senate voted Tuesday to extend for 90 days the legal life of three post-Sept. 11 terrorism-fighting measures, including the use of roving wiretaps, that are set to expire at the end of the month.
The short-term extension gives lawmakers a chance to review the measures that critics from both the right and left say are unconstitutional infringements on personal liberties.
The Senate voted 86-12 a day after the House of Representatives agreed to extend the three provisions, including two from the 2001 USA Patriot Act, until Dec. 8. The two chambers now must agree on a common approach. With Congress in recess next week, there is pressure to reach a compromise this week.

Woody brought up a great point today. With all the bitching and accusations the Democrats did about Bush enacting this piece of liberty-trampling garbage, what have they done to repeal it in the past 2 years? Not a fucking thing. Not only that but now the motherfuckers are going to broaden it.

Monday, February 14, 2011

I shoulda known

CharlieGodammit is just working the fuck out of his new rawhide bone.
All I can think is "Sonofabitch, he's sharpening his teeth......"
So I had some checking done by my vet as to his breed. She did DNA tests as well as measuring molar to molar ratios. According to his tests he is 3/4 American Husky and 1/4 Grey Wolf.
The American Husky differs from the Siberian in size (larger), coloring (usually brown) and the color of eyes (brown vs blue) and the wolf cross is very common with American Huskies as it's not as refined a breed. In other words, my dog's a fucking Okie - American bred with natives.
We're a perfect match.

I'm sorry, I'm having a giggling fit....

That's it. We're fucked.

Two magazines, Country Living (95.99% white readership) and Ebony /Jet (99.99% black readership) did surveys on....

"WHAT DO PEOPLE FEAR MOST?" The results were interesting, to say the least....

Country Living magazine's top three answers were:
1. Nuclear war/terrorist attack in U.S
2. Child/spouse dying
3. Terminal illness

Ebony/Jet magazine's top three answers were:
1. Ghosts
2. Dogs
3. Registered mail (Certified mail)

No Kidding... And these are the people who put Obama over the top; what would you expect?

-Stevienatt

And I still feel hungry.......




































-Dave

Fuuuuuuck you!!!!!!!

-Yolo

Huh? WHAT??????

halal slaughtered meat - another example of creeping sharia law

A reader sent me some youtube videos of halal slaughtering of meat the other day and asked that I post them.
For those of you that don't know, halal slaughtering is ritual killing of the animal where the slaughterer prays as he kills the animal. It's an absolutely barbaric practice - the animals aren't stunned or killed cleanly because the animal "can't hear the prayers to allah" if it's stunned first.
I won't post the videos, they're sickening and I regret watching them but at the same time I'm thankful to the reader for making me fully aware of the process. The slaughtering is done with a knife, the throats of the animals are cut and allowed to bleed out, taking up to 30 seconds to die.
As a hunter that was raised and taught to always strive for a clean and instant kill, I was offended beyond words when I saw not only the way the animals were killed but how they were treated before their death.
The thing is, with the muslim population growing in the US and Canada, you may be eating halal meat without knowing it, especially if you eat mutton or goat. I am not advocating that you not eat meat (I eat meat every day - pig, beef or goat, can't stand sheep) but I think it may be worth considering asking your local market if they buy ANY meat from halal slaughterhouses. If they do, inform them that you'll do your shopping elsewhere and tell them why.
If you wish to see what I'm talking about, Bare Naked Islam at http://barenakedislam.wordpress.com/ has one of the videos I watched posted among several others. Be advised it is very graphic.
Okay, I'm not used to being sensitive and I think I need a tissue.
And I think this is my first ever post without a profanity. How fucked up is that?

Blogroll additions

A couple of weeks ago Woody was bitching and sniveling that my blogroll was getting so damned big he couldn't find shit on it anymore.
And I gotta admit, it's starting to get huge. So today, in the spirit of things, I added a couple more righteous blogs for your veiwing pleasure - Green Mountains Homesteading at http://greenmnts.blogspot.com/ and Zilla of the Resistance at http://zillablog.marezilla.com/ both of which are some serious reading for y'all. Check 'em out please.
Fuck you, Woody.

Not even close, no matter what Pelosi thinks.

I feel your pain, Darlin'




































-Niki

He's carrying the bags! How humiliating!!!

Trying hard for my Camel Toe catagory




































-Yolo

Sunday, February 13, 2011

DAMN!!!!!!!

Mohammad - the "Perfect" man?




Fucking Child Molester.......

Housecleaning tips

I was going to do a coyote post today but I did a little housecleaning today and got to thinking that there's probably a lot of motherfuckers out there, male and unfortunately also females, that don't have my level of expertise in the matter so I thought I'd pass along a few tips.
Me being a guy, this is written for men but ladies, some of it may apply to you too, so feel free to read along.

To begin with, there are 2 levels of clean and we're going to tackle them one at a time. The 1st level we're going to talk about is Girl Clean, and then there's Guy Clean.

GIRL CLEAN:
Girl clean is probably the easiest for us men to achieve. The way you accomplish that is to hire a maid service for a one-time thorough cleaning, lock up your valuables and whiskey, pack your bags and get the fuck out of Dodge for a while.
Sure, it'll cost you some bucks but that's the only way it will ever get done.
Now, moving on:

GUY CLEAN:
Guy clean is going to cost you a little time and money but it's fairly simple once you get a pattern and rhythm down. But boys, you gotta stay on top of it or you're gonna end up having to do a Girl Clean and that will cost you some money.
The easiest way to maintain Guy Clean is to do at least 30 minutes worth of housework (not including dishes) every fucking day, I don't give a shit how tired you are when you walk in from a 12 hour shift. To keep from fucking up and working any harder than you have to, I would suggest making out a schedule until you get a  rhythm down - Mondays is when you vacuum and dust, Tuesdays is when you give the bathroom a good cleaning, Wednesdays is kitchen day, etc.
Yes, there are certain things that require daily attention and I'm not saying you only clean the kitchen on Wednesdays - wipe down the stove and do the dishes when needed, but on Wednesday you mop, wipe down the outside of the icebox, shit like that, you get what I'm saying?
Certain jobs require more than a half hours' worth of work but you gotta do what you gotta do. After a while you'll notice that it doesn't take you as long to do a chore as it did when you first started because it pretty much stays clean now, so you can devote your 30 minutes to something else like cleaning the inside of the icebox out or cleaning the inside of the miccawave.
And that's the whole secret to Guy Clean - do a little everyday. Turn on the stereo, drink beer while you do it but just keep to your schedule. You do that, you won't have to spend your weekends cleaning house, leaving you more time to hunt and fish.

Cleaning Tips and Shortcuts:
There's 2 things everybody notices the first time they walk into a strange house - the floor and the smell. Your house can be freshly Girl Cleaned but if there's a pile of dog shit in the middle of the floor, it's the first thing everybody sees. Keep the carpet vacuumed and the wood/tile floors swept and mopped. Before you vacuum, sprinkle some baking soda around first and when you mop, add some Pine-Sol to your mop water. I also do a couple of other things for odors. Once a week, I dump some baking soda and vinegar down my kitchen sink drain to eliminate the smell of fish guts and other assorted viscera that may have gotten trapped down there. I'll also take some dried sagebrush and put it in a smudgepot and smoke my house for that nice smell. If you live in a fire prone area like Southern California, you can pass on that - nature will do it for you. Besides, it might make you a little jumpy. And finally, I'll take some little pieces of rag, soak them in Hoppes #9 Gun Solvent, put it on some foil to avoid stripping the paint on whatever you lay it on and leave it in hidden spots throughout the house to make it smell like a real home.

Now comes the age-old question that everybody has a different answer for: Do you dust first or vacuum first? If you dust first, it knocks all that shit to the floor where the vacuum can pick it up. If you vacuum first, it stirs the dust in the carpet up so you can clean it when you dust. My answer? Fuck it, you aren't going to do it right no matter what you do first. Do whatever you feel like.
The main thing to keep in mind when dusting is that the less shit you have to move or dust around, the easier it is. Seriously, if you've got a million knick knacks everywhere, it can easily turn into an hour long job.

There about a million products out there for housecleaning, most of them useless in my opinion. I can only think of a few items you absolutely need to clean your house Guy Clean and they are: a broom, a sponge mop, some wood soap (I like Murphys), Pine-Sol, Pledge, Hydrogen Peroxide, scouring pads, and a vacuum cleaner.
No shit, you don't need static cling dust rags (I use old T shirts), Swiffers, or 97 different kinds of detergents. Spend all the money your gonna save to buy ammo with.
You notice I didn't mention bleach? Fuck no. Bleach is chlorine and the fumes gag me. I use peroxide anyplace I would use bleach, including my laundry. Fill a spray bottle with a 50/50 mixture of peroxide and water and keep it in the bathroom to disinfect without harming your septic system like bleach will. I also use it in the kitchen to disinfect my cabinets, cutting board and meat cutting knives. Not only is it healthier but it's also cheaper than bleach.
If you do buy other cleaning products, be advised that some of them can be toxic if mixed, bleach and ammonia coming to mind. If there's any question about combining something, go to a well ventilated area and mix them together, then hold a cats' head directly over it. Be sure to wear welding gloves while doing this for obvious reasons. If it doesn't gas the cat, you're probably safe too.

If you have a gas stove like me, you'll see that there's a grease drip pan under the burners. This can be a pure bitch to clean because it tends to bake on. You can either soak it in hot soapy water and scrub it til your fingers bleed or you can do what your ol' buddy Wirecutter does: Take it outside, sandbast the shit out of the motherfucker, then give it a couple of coats of heat resistant black paint. No sandblaster? Go buy one - you'll find other uses for it eventually.

One last piece of advice. Keep your mud porch clean. Keep your floor mopped around the garbage can, wash the dogs' bedding regularly and make sure you either feed the dog outside or that he leaves no food in his dish. All this will keep the flies down.

Okay, hope this makes life a little easier on you.
Fuck Obama

Happy Valentines' Day, Wirecutter Style