Monday, January 02, 2012

CharlieGodammit and his Big Night

New Years Eve and 4th of July are two holidays guaranteed to keep most dogs quivering in the corner because of gunfire and fireworks. Hell, I had a hunting hound one time that I had to medicate during the festivities.
Not CharlieGodammit. About 11:30 I heard him out in the back yard doing his "I Will Fuck You Up" bark - real deep barks spaced about 2 seconds apart, generally sounded when somebody is in the alley or close to his yard. If he's agitated, he'll drop his head, swing it side to side and make this weird moaning, growling noise. That's right before he explodes.
So I look out back to see what he's pissed about and that silly motherfucker is standing out in the middle of the yard, barking at the fireworks, challenging them. He's having a blast.
I opened up the back door and he charged in full speed skidding against the cabinet on the mud porch, ran into the living room, barked at Miss Lisa and then hotfooted it back outside again. He skids to a stop in the middle of the yard, dried Bermuda flying everywhere, and looks back at me with his ears up, eyes bright and a CGD smile on his face - "C'mon motherfuckers, all the good shit is out here!!!!!"

I remember his first 4th of July with me, 2 years ago. I'd had him maybe 3 or 4 months and still hadn't broke him to gunfire yet. Hell, I barely had him tamed down in that time.
So about an hour before dark I pulled my cooler (did I mention I was fucking hammered by this time?) outside, then shortleashed CGD on a choker, grabbed a box of of Doggie Treats and headed for the backyard where I stretched out in a lounge chair with him tight by my side.
He was reacting to the popping and banging and whistles, not starting but just turning his head, and I was thinking Hey, this might be easy.
Then it got dark and the first skyrocket arched overhead and I went airborne as CharlieGodammit jerked me out trying to catch that motherfucker. I finally got free of him and spent the next hour watching that sumbitch run all over that yard trying to catch the fireworks. When there was a lull in the action, he'd run over to the spigot and take on a gallon or so of water and he was off again.
The high point in the evening was when Charlie had his leg hiked up against the fence and the Sheriffs' helicopter came flashing over low level and jinking like a motherfucker to avoid all the gunfire, the pilot no doubt wondering just who in the fuck talked him into this shit. It caught Charlie by surprise but he was up to the challenge. He took off after the helicopter (it was in sight for maybe 1.5 seconds), leaving a spray of piss against the fence for 25 feet before crashing headfirst into the chainlink fence that splits our yard. That calmed his happy ass down for a minute.
I put up with dodging him for about an hour, but then I ran out of beer and started feeling really pukey so I headed for bed. I could not drag that dog inside, he was having so much fun. As I recall, I finally let him in about 2 or 3 when I got up to take a piss.
Motherfucker loves his holidays.

1 comment:

davecydell said...

Damn, I miss my Big Boy.