Friday, January 27, 2012

The high point of CharlieGodammits' day

Irish is always sending me shit about CharlieGodammit, and the latest exchange is about him and the mailman.
I started typing out a reply to him about Charlie waiting to ambush our mailman but figured it would make a pretty good post so I copied most of it so y'all can enjoy it too.

About an hour before the mailman is due, he takes up his position directly in front of the mail slot. The mail is delivered on foot and across the street first, so the fucking mutt has a pretty good idea where he's at in the neighborhood and how long before he gets to the house.
When he's coming from my psycho neighbor Bruces' house and headed across our yards towards mine, CGD's head goes up and he tenses, ready to spring but not making a sound. As soon as the mailman puts the mail through the slot, CharlieGodammit charges, snarling and snapping and bounces off the wall and shaking the entire house, ripping the mail from the mailman's hand before he has a chance to let go and throwing a couple of barks towards him for good measure.
The mailman gets all freaked out and the cussing in Hindu starts, turbans get all unraveled and shit, and Hari trots off the property, pissed as hell, just to do it again the next day.
This is an everyday thing, I can damned near tell time by it. CharlieGodammit enjoys that almost as he does an (ex)nut rubbing, but I think it kinda sorta gets on the mailmens' nerves, seeing as none of them seem to last more than a couple weeks.
We had tried putting shelves in front of the mail slot hoping that it would discourage CGD, but to him they were just some much appreciated steps.


Anonymous said...

CGB could be Larry Jones brother. That sob lays on the sofa all morning waiting until he hears the mail jeep park up the street, then he monitors the mail man as he makes his way down the other side. He knows when he is due at the neighbors and takes up position, even tho we use the outside box. When the mailman gets up our steps, all hell breaks loose, Larry Jones starts running in circles, barking, jumping off the furniture and acting like a general mofo.

wirecutter said...

Okay, I'll bite. Why did you name your dog Larry Jones?
Catchy, I'll admit, but unusual.

Anonymous said...

Before he had his danglers trimmed off he was quite a leg hound, Larry Jones was a raper or other pervert in the news those days.

Kerodin said...

The mailman represents an absolute victory in every dogs life - every day that mailman tries to sneak into your lair to do evil things to you and your family, and CGD scares him off.

You owe him your life.