Saturday, January 14, 2012

Now that's some serious gun "control"

A man arrested this week in North Carolina may have stashed a .38 barrel revolver in his rectum, according to police, who reported that the unloaded 10-inch weapon was not discovered until after the suspect had been booked into a cell in the county jail.
Michael Leon Ward, a 22-year-old Georgia resident, was arrested Monday after a trooper spotted him speeding. Ward, who resisted arrest, was subdued with the help of a stun gun. A subsequent search of his vehicle resulted in additional charges for possession of marijuana and drug paraphernalia.
But it was only after Ward--who is a fugitive on a murder warrant out of Atlanta--entered the Onslow County jail that sheriff’s investigators discovered what else he possessed.
According to cops, Ward, pictured at right, summoned jailers to his cell, claiming that someone was trying to kill him, and that he discovered a gun inside his cell. The weapon was found in the toilet, where Ward claimed he tossed it after finding it in his bunk.
The recovered gun is pictured in the above police evidence photo (click to enlarge).
Sheriff’s investigators say they are investigating how Ward got the weapon into the jail, since he had been “strip searched prior to being booked into a cell block.” The inmate, a press release notes, was taken today to a local hospital “for possible injuries that may have occurred to Ward’s rectum where it is believed Ward may have concealed” the revolver.
The gun, deputies reported, was test fired and found to be operational.


I'm not even going to get into what sort of "exercises" he might've been doing in order to get a fucking gun up his asshole.
And what about the poor guy that had to test fire. I'll bet big money that the job went to the newest employee of the jailhouse.
Picture it: He's dressed in a hazmat suit, mask and all, squeezing the trigger and holding his breath as a mist of brown smoke and stench erupts from the barrel.


Hog Whitman said...

Rectum? Dang near killed him!

Skip said...

I got an old Smiff just like that.
I would love to shove up Holders ass.

Edward Teach said...

What about his father's watch?

ASM826 said...

Test fired, huh? Who got that job? Which poor deputy drew the short straw? Or was there some guy so far down on the Sheriff's sh*t list that that it just naturally rolled down to him.

"Hey, Sarge, send Evans in here. I got a something I need done. And tell him to wear gloves."