Ever since I joined AttackWatch.org so I could turn myself in, I get hammered with emails asking for money from the Obamessiah's campaign.
This morning I woke up to something a little different - a nice email from the High Sheriff His Own Self, asking me to join him in wishing Mooch-elle a happy birthday.
If you'd also like to tell her happy birthday, go ahead and click on the link in the email. But be warned: You'll be placed on their mailing list.
From: Barack Obama (email@example.com)
Sent: Thursday, January 12, 2012 9:16 AM
Subject: Not the only Michelle Obama fan out there
Michelle’s 48th birthday is this Tuesday. (Really? I thought she was much older than that.)
Every day I’m more impressed and in love with Michelle — and thankful that I had the persistence to keep asking her out until she said yes. (She only married you because nobody else would put up with her)
I also know that I’m not the only Michelle Obama fan out there. (Naw, there's billions of people on earth so there's bound to be a couple more out there somewhere.)
Will you join me in wishing Michelle a happy birthday? (Are you sure you really want me to do that?)
Making the decision to be part of this campaign was personal for a lot of people, and Michelle and I were no exception. Through all of this I've been awed by her steadiness and commitment because she believes in me and you and what we're trying to do. (She doesn't believe in you, you're just her meal ticket and that's a tall order to fill.)
This next year will be the toughest yet. I know she'd love to hear from you today. (Like I don't have anything better to do, like cleaning a toilet, right?)
Thanks for your support, (Dream on, motherfucker.)
Barack (Mooch's Coffee Bitch)