Monday, March 12, 2012

I survived!



Well, it's been 2 weeks since Miss Lisa took off for Tennessee to visit her folks and grandkids and she's due in tonight.
It's been rough but I've managed to survive - not only survive but doing it in my own special way.
I pretty much did all the shit I wanted to do and none of the shit that I was supposed to do. I mean, it's not like I had a list or anything but other than 2 specific instructions (Don't go to jail and don't get laid) I was pretty much left up to my own devices.

 So here's a list of shit that I got accomplished around the house in 2 weeks:
1) I wired up some security lights
2) I put in the tomatoes and peppers.

Short fucking list, huh? Did 2 things in 2 weeks. See, I ain't lost my touch.

But there were other little everyday things too. I managed to put the hurt on the better part of a grown pig and I ate a fucking vegetable. I cooked a pizza in the oven instead of the smoker. I shot some pigeons. I slept in every day I was off. I tried brushing CharlieGodammit out and only got bit once. I shot some gophers. I mowed the yard. I went coyote calling. I made the bed once. I went fishing. I found the old lady's candy stash. I ate the old lady's candy stash. And I did the dishes.

This morning was spent vacuuming, sweeping and doing laundry. The house doesn't look real bad (motherfucker's still standing) so I don't think I'll be in too much trouble when she gets in.
And I didn't go to jail or get laid.

7 comments:

da_truth36 said...

Somehow, somewhere, you forgot something and you will pay hell for it when she gets home. Good luck!

Erinyes said...

And you washed the dishes in the fart soaker...

Causa Patet said...

Did you ever find the toilet plunger?

wirecutter said...

Naw, went down and bought a couple. One for the bathroom, one to wear to the airport to pick her up.

Skip said...

If your like the rest of us, you fucked up a buncha shit and won't know it 'till you get 'the look'.

Erinyes said...

I predict he gets the look when she finds out how he washed the dishes...yep, I'm still shaking mny head over that one!

extexanwannabe said...

What kinda candy? Could be really important.