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Monday, March 12, 2012

I survived!



Well, it's been 2 weeks since Miss Lisa took off for Tennessee to visit her folks and grandkids and she's due in tonight.
It's been rough but I've managed to survive - not only survive but doing it in my own special way.
I pretty much did all the shit I wanted to do and none of the shit that I was supposed to do. I mean, it's not like I had a list or anything but other than 2 specific instructions (Don't go to jail and don't get laid) I was pretty much left up to my own devices.

 So here's a list of shit that I got accomplished around the house in 2 weeks:
1) I wired up some security lights
2) I put in the tomatoes and peppers.

Short fucking list, huh? Did 2 things in 2 weeks. See, I ain't lost my touch.

But there were other little everyday things too. I managed to put the hurt on the better part of a grown pig and I ate a fucking vegetable. I cooked a pizza in the oven instead of the smoker. I shot some pigeons. I slept in every day I was off. I tried brushing CharlieGodammit out and only got bit once. I shot some gophers. I mowed the yard. I went coyote calling. I made the bed once. I went fishing. I found the old lady's candy stash. I ate the old lady's candy stash. And I did the dishes.

This morning was spent vacuuming, sweeping and doing laundry. The house doesn't look real bad (motherfucker's still standing) so I don't think I'll be in too much trouble when she gets in.
And I didn't go to jail or get laid.

7 comments:

  1. Somehow, somewhere, you forgot something and you will pay hell for it when she gets home. Good luck!

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  2. And you washed the dishes in the fart soaker...

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  3. Did you ever find the toilet plunger?

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  4. Naw, went down and bought a couple. One for the bathroom, one to wear to the airport to pick her up.

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  5. If your like the rest of us, you fucked up a buncha shit and won't know it 'till you get 'the look'.

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  6. I predict he gets the look when she finds out how he washed the dishes...yep, I'm still shaking mny head over that one!

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  7. What kinda candy? Could be really important.

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