Friday, April 13, 2012

CharlieGodammit

We're having a small thunderstorm right now and CGD ain't quite sure what's going on. Motherfucker is 4 or 5 years old and has never heard thunder..... He's barking and growling but he's not getting up. He must not figure it's that big a deal.

He is shedding. Bad. Dog hair everywhere. It started out slowly a few weeks ago but about 10 days back he started shedding like crazy. You've seen pictures of buffalo with big clumps of hair on their sides? That's Charlie. I try to snatch those clumps out when he walks by and usually get nipped for my efforts and 30 minutes later there's another clump in the same spot ready to fall out.
If I sit on him I can pull handfuls of hair out of his coat and this is after his brushings. Last week I brushed him out, quitting only after I got tired of fighting him, and I was still getting huge clumps of hair off him.
The end is finally in sight. I took him out to the garage this morning and for once he actually sat for his brushing. After about 20 minutes of that shit he stood up and I was amazed. That sumbitch wasn't half the dog he was before. Not only did he look a lot lighter and muscular but he looked like he shrunk down an inch or two.

Fucking dog can clear a room with his farts, man. Luckily for me all that dope I snorted back in the 80s ruined my nose, but he's devastating to everybody else in the room.
We'll all be in the living room and CGD will be sleeping on the floor and then all of a sudden I'll hear people start gagging and hollering "CHARLIE! GODDAMMIT!!!" and running for the door. I'll just reach down and scratch his ears while he's smiling and grinning and go back to my book or computer.
It's gotten to the point that Lisa is starting to suspect that I'm the culprit, especially when I walked in the door last night, sat down and CharlieGodammit blew his first bomb of the day.
He his the fartingest dog I've ever seen, though. He can be standing at the door with his ass to me and I can watch his ol' brown eye just working away.