Sunday, July 15, 2012

Phone woes (and my solution)

My phone's have to be some hardy motherfuckers due to the abuse I give them, either falling out of my shirt pocket when I bend over or me flinging them across the house or yard or store when I get pissed at whoever I was talking to.
I've had my current phone for over 2 years now, setting some kind of record, but the age is showing on it - cracked screen, some buttons that have to be pushed harder than others, a battery cover and battery that pops out on their own, speaker that works when it wants to and finally, turning off and on at will.
So the other day Lisa gets a deal in the mail from AT&T saying that Kenneth is eligible for a new phone upon renewal of my contract with AT&T and she basically tells me that she's getting a little tired of me bitching about my phone and just go down and get another one, after all it's free, right?

Let me interrupt real quick and mention how much I hate dealing with all the big phone companies - anything that can be done over the phone by one salesman that speaks passable english in 5 minutes is now made easier by having to go through a half dozen motherfuckers in the wrong departments in the wrong countries and now it only takes a half a day.
The phone store is no easier.

Okay, so I walk in there with an attitude - a resigned attitude, that is. This is something that has to be done, there's no getting around it, let's just get this shit over with.
The very first thing that I notice is that all their 'free' phones are cheap pieces of shit that wouldn't last a week with me. For one thing, I need a keyboard instead of one of those taptap things to text because my fingers are kinda sorta stiff and clumsy anymore. I also need something big enough that I don't lose it when I pull down my pants to take a dump, yet small enough that it'll fit in my pocket and be carried comfortably while I'm working. Plus the motherfuckers can't be very aerodynamic or I'd never be able to find it after I'm done talking to my mother.
I start looking around and the phones that fit most of my needs all run about 50 bucks with a contract which is just about what I figured I was going to have to spend on my 'free' phone.
Finally a salesman comes up and starts getting all of my information. Then he tells me after we go though all the bullshit that I have a balance on my bill of $137 that isn't due until the 27th, but it needs to be paid in full in order to renew my contract.
Wait a minute. I need to pay my balance that isn't due yet in order for me to continue to give you my business (money) for another 2 years? And then throw down another 50 bucks for a 'free' phone? Plus God only knows how many wasted hours and headaches dealing with piss poor customer service? All for a phone that I use less than 100 minutes a month? Almost $200 for a phone that I will use for maybe 1 call a day and a couple of texts? Are you fucking kidding me?
So I thanked the young man for his time (yes, I was polite and courteous - it wasn't his fault) and walked out. Tomorrow morning I will spend my half day on the phone with At&T to cancel my service, then I will go down and buy another throwaway phone from Radio Shack and 20 bucks worth of minutes that will last me all fucking month. Total cost - 25 US Dollars.


KurtP said...

Look at the Verizon Ravine phone.
It'll cost about $75 w/ 2 year contract but it's almost bulletproof- and waterproof enough to take a bath in diesel and go through the wash.

It takes good pics and long video with the Micro SD card.
I think I got that price through Wire-fly (or something)

michigan doug said...

ive used Net10 for about 3 years. no contract.Priceless.

Erinyes said...

Fuck AT&T. And fuck a bunch of that BUNDLING shit. I will NEVER do that again.

davecydell said...

Virgin Mobile thru Sprint
$7.50 / mo

I'm a wierdo,
I take pics w/ my digital camera

I also surf the Web on a 19" desktop monitor
not some pissy assed smartphone screen

StreamWalker said...

Agree on Net 10 but sometimes I don't get a signal whereas my buddy with Verizon gets one. Go figure.

BRIII said...

Check out Consumer
No contract, 300 min./ mo. free phone or upgrade for around $35.
Avg. bill $22/mo. I've been using it for over two years, no problems.

wirecutter said...

Damn Dave, you need to catch up with the rest of the world. Why would you take a picture with a camera that has more megapixels or surf on a monitor that's big enough to see the whole screen at once when you can do it on a phone?

Glenn B said...

Tell those fuckers at ATT what happened at the ATT Store. There is no way that you are required to pay a bill that is not yet due in order to get a new contract. If you ask for a supervisor, insist on a supervisor, and speak to a supervisor, my guess is you will get the phone you wanted for free although you will have to tell them that is what will keep you with ATT.

Tim said...

I wasn't aware that at&t actually got reception much of anywhere. It is nearly useless in Wisconsin.

You might like this picture of puppies,

Toejam said...

I worked for AT&T in the 1980's. Between them cocksuckers and the CWA (Communications Workers of America) cocksuckers they fucked me (20 years service) out of a job and replaced me with a 20 year old kid at 1/3 the salary. I wasn't the only one. about 15 people in my department were shoved out the door and replaced with ass-licking college turds.

I wouldn't give them the dingleberries off my ass hair.

I bought a "TracFhone" for $20 + $20 call time. Total $40 in Wallgreens and use it once a year. I couldn't "text" if my fuckin measily life depended on it. Don't know how and don't want to.

I hate fucking "being connected"!

dhanna59 said...

Kenny, I don't have any advice on phone compannies other than they all are are bloodsuckers. My advice is on how to keep your phone in your pocket or truck dash. I use a 1 inck cross section of bicycle innertube, i.e.; Ranger bands. Or you can just use rubber bands but they don't last long. It will also keep your lighter, pen, money clip,pepper spray , whatever from EVER falling out of your pocket!! Also pistol mags!!You ca even slip some innertube on your pistol grip for a cheap but very effective pachmayer type grip!!

Worker said...

Use to go with the high end/cool stuff but got tired of the companies BS - use TRAC phone now (sort of a half-ass phone) but 800 minuits yearly for about $100.00. Works fine and no company bull shit.

timbo said...

Dumped the major carriers 4 years ago. I now spend under $40/mo, compared to several hundred. Fuckem. I don't pay cable. I don't have any credit cards any more (prepay only). And I use throw away phones.

The amount of money I don't give away to those corporate cocksuckers any more is stunning!
There was a "last straw" moment for each.

Stinkwilly said...

I use Tracfone w/ net 10
Phone was 49.00 monthly minutes is 200 minutes for 16.00.
Minutes roll over and I now have 846 minutes accrued. Love it.

Scott said...

Funny I read this today; this morning my wife tells me her I phone won’t turn on, and after fucking around with it I agree (what the fuck do I know about I phones, I hate Mac products) I make a call to the phone company and see what they can do, after talking to the nice lady with the heavy East Indian accent I find out that because the glass is cracked the warranty is void (even though the glass has been cracked for six months, and it has nothing to do with the problem). The phone company I have dealt with exclusively for over 20 years says that I have to buy out the contract and purchase a new contract or pay for the phone (over $500). I told her I would buy out the contract and go to another carrier for all my phones. All of the sudden I get an English speaking North American guy who gives me all kinds of phones and incentives to stay put. Turns out the phone was fine, she just had to reboot it. I saved a whole shitload of money, and bought a six pack to celebrate. Just goes to show you what they will do when you tell them to go fuck themselves!!!

Roswell said...

My phone contract is up in two weeks.... after reading all the comments i'm thinking a cheap "throwaway" phone is the best option!

Anonymous said...

I hate them damn cell phones. They all hose you one way or another. I had one and hardly used the damn thing and still had to pay all the damn taxes and hidden fees. I finally cancelled it. I'm home bound and needed something. I went with Vonage and am happy. I pay $70 a month for my wifes cell but it keeps her happy. When she's happy, the whole house is happy.
Papa Mike

Anonymous said...

If AT&T service is good for your needs/area/etc don't cancel. Buy the AT&T GoPhone you like and put your SIM card from the old phone in it. if your contract is up you are on a month-to-month basis. BTDT!