Thursday, July 05, 2012

Wirecutter's Toilet Critique


Those are toilets, right? Because last time I did a post like this, y'all were quick to point out that one of them was a bidet and called me a fucking hillbilly. Assholes.
This one has 2 shitters and a fucking poker table to boot but not a magazine rack or book in sight - they must be encouraging a quick turnaround for some reason although the poker table contradicts that. They probably have kids - boys first, then the girls and then finally Mom and Dad can enjoy a dump together.
Lots of toilet paper, too. They must be democrats because they're full of shit.
Flowers too. Those motherfuckers wouldn't survive in my bathroom, nothing else does after I'm done in there.
 Fuck, two toilets? I always just pissed between her legs.

14 comments:

dakotas5 said...

Long stretch to grab TP from the handicap accessible crapper too.

MissK said...

What a thing to wake up to...

"I always just pissed between her legs"

Having just one toilet, I also have to deal with this "possible" scenario quite often. It has been uttered several times actually, but I'll be damned if it ever happens... Ewwwww, men and their crazy ideas :P

I'm wondering about something though, the picture is not very clear on my computer, and it looks like there is a gun on the table?? So judging by the position of the chair and the solid metal handles on the wall, that could double as a sturdy place for handcuffs, this could very well be a twisted interrogation/scare the shit out of you room. The second toilet, is probably there for when the hostage taker wants to take a dump while remaining close to his prisoner, hey a little biological warfare while you're at it.

Thank you so much Wirecutter (sarcastic tone)for the inspiration this morning :P

Weer'd Beard said...

Like the old 2-4 hole outhouses back in the day!

It ain't shitting, its a social experience!

hiswiserangel said...

What I find disturbing is the placement of the chairs, facing the toilets, like shitting is a spectator sport.

rpm2day said...

What's the deal with the observer's seat. Just a little creepy y'know?

hiswiserangel said...

Note to self: Don't Piss Off MissK

MissK said...

;-)

wirecutter said...

Duly noted, Wiserangel.

Cedarswamp said...

That's a public bathroom you fuckin' hillbilly.(jk) Toilet seats, open front less cover, dead give away.

Shell said...

Now now, there was only one who called you a fuckin' hillbilly the other time. The rest of us just laughed our asses off at it.

.............

Public toilet? Looks like it. I'm with hiswiserangel and rpm2day, though - if it is, why are there chairs and a table for people to sit and watch others take a dump?

Bella said...

It's come to this? Let me know when you hear banjo's playing, please.

Toejam said...

What no Hustler magazines on the table. How's a dude gonna releave his stress without a little incentive?

Anonymous said...

There's a scene in a Luis Bunuel film (yeah, yeah, I know) where a couple and their guests are sitting around the "dining room" table, but they're all sitting on toilets that have been installed around the table. One guy later "excuses" himself and goes down the hall, opening a closet, where another guy is hunched over eating a turkey leg or some such, and starts waving him away, yelling "Close the door! Closer the door!"

doubletrouble said...

"...pissed between her legs."

My aim isn't that good. Anyway, that's why God made sinks...