Tuesday, August 28, 2012

Could've been my teacher

ATLANTA (CBS Atlanta) – A former fifth-grade teacher implicated in a cheating scandal reportedly gave students the illegal assistance because she thought they were “dumb as hell.”
Schajuan Jones, who taught a fourth-grade class across the hall from Smith’s former room, overheard her talking to another teacher about the test.
“The words were, ‘I had to give your kids, or your students, the answers because they’re dumb as hell,’” Jones was quoted as saying about the interaction between Smith and the unidentified third teacher.
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Fuck, I'm laughing right now. I can remember my 5th grade teacher telling my mother that at a PTA conference. Mom damned near whipped her ass over that - there was no love lost between them anyways. Pops was in Vietnam again so we were back here in Modesto for a year and I had to go to a civilian school. It was a fucking shock to me - I was proud of Pops and all of a sudden I'm in a class taught by a bona fide liberal?  She did everything she could to make life hard on me - embarrassing me in front of the class, talking about the way I dressed (Mom bought my Levis long and rolled them up), telling the class my daddy was a war-monger, just using her politics to fuck with a little kid, you know?
About 15 years ago I was reading the obits to see if anybody I hated died and ran across the name "Dorothy P Jones". Praise be unto the Good Lord Hisownself, the bitch had died, hopefully a long drawn out painful death.
I gave the family a few months to get their grave visiting out of the way, then I went to the cemetery and found her grave with her nice little marker praising her 40 years as a teacher. I sat down and remembered one of those 40 years, how she treated me, how she disrespected my Pops and every other servicemember, how she called me a dummy because I keep getting my numbers reversed, basically just what a bitch she was, you know? Then I imagined her pinched face and her granny glasses and spittle at the corner of her mouth when she was chewing my ass out, and I smiled, pulled out my dick and pissed the entire length of her fucking grave.

5 comments:

CharlieDelta said...

Ha! Wirecutter, that must have been the best piss you've ever taken. I've always wanted to piss on someone's grave.

I hope to make it to Arlington one day before I'm pushing daisies so I can drain all over Ted(hic)Kennedy's fuckin' grave. The plan will be to drink copious amounts of beer beforehand and never 'break the seal' until I'm on site. When I can't take the pain of holding it in any longer, I will unleash a mighty force and turn his grave into a small pond of piss.

You gotta have goals right?

Oswald Bastable said...

Outfuckingstanding!

Cheesy said...

You didn't drop a deuce?
Oh, I see, no TP.
Carry on, good sir!

indyjones said...

And that is the very reason Jane Fonda will be cremated and ashes spread only God knows where. Otherwise someone could make a fortune pouring quart size mason jars of piss on her grave from Viet Nam vets that couldn't make it to Kalifornia to do the job in person.

Dean Carder said...

Good for you! I have a piossing plan myself!