Monday, August 06, 2012

Dealing with Doc

Man, my lower back has been giving me fits lately, most of it muscle pain running the from hip to hip, almost like when my sciatica starts to kick in but on both sides.
So I went to see Doc about it this morning wanting him to work his magic. "Hi Kenny, what's up with you?'
"My fucking back is kicking my ass again. Do something, man. But I don't have time for physical therapy, I don't want any painkillers and I ain't wearing a back brace. Fuck that."
"So just what in the hell do you want me to do?" he asks tossing my records in the trash can. He does that a lot.
"How the fuck do I know, man? You're the smart one in the room."
We glare at each other for a minute until he finally comes up with a solution. "You want some samples of hard-on pills?"
"Yeah, that might work."
So by the time it was all said and done I ended up with an injection in my hip, a fist full of flexoril, a prescription of anti-inflammatories for my git kit, a referral for PT and a back brace which I'll never use and a couple samples of happy pills. Not a bad haul, you know?
Let me tell you what, though. By the time I got home my back felt better but my left hip was fucking throbbing. It's almost like all that pain just moved over to one area.
So I mowed the yards - probably not the brightest idea now that I'm looking back on it. I'm laid up in my Camouflaged Bass Pro Easy Chair and can't hardly move.
Getting old is a bitch.