Saturday, August 11, 2012

Fun and games at the hospital

Yeah, so I went up and visited Pops today - he had a surgery Thursday and has some other shit going on so he's back in the hospital. Anyways, Mom texted that she wanted me to go up there and shave him so after I got my meat off the smoker I headed into town.
Anyways, I get in there and don the proper attire - facemask, gown and gloves - and wander in. Mom's there along with a couple of my nieces and Pops brother Ed and Cousin Skip, everybody watching the TV really intently. What the fuck's going on, did the arabs blow something up again? Then I walk into the room enough to see they're watching Professional Bull Riding with the sound down. Ahhhhh......

I don't know why I gotta wear all this shit anyways. If they're worried about maybe him being contagious wouldn't they think that his immediate family would've been infected before he was hospitalized? And if they're concerned about me passing something on to him how come they didn't say nothing about the dogshit I tracked through 4 floors of hospital? Somebody besides me had to have smelled it.

I asked him how his pain was and he just grimaced. A little later in the conversation I asked him if there was anything he needed and he said "Yeah, how 'bout my 45? Motherfuckers will listen then when I tell 'em I hurt."
"You bet" I said and bent down to hug him, catching that 'You-better-not-motherfucker' look from Mom, a look so intense that I caught myself before offering Pops to leave mine there with him.

For the first time in my life I managed to find my way out of the hospital without getting lost and having to take on calories at the cafeteria before continuing my quest for an exit, any exit. I walked out of his room and went right out the same door I came in. However I did get lost in the parking garage after finding the car. I swear to God I parked in the second stall when you enter, but instead of flipping around and driving out the entrance (there was absolutely no traffic) I decided to do the things the right way and find the exit. That motherfucker has 4 floors and I drove up and down every one of them going faster and faster, picking up a security escort along the way, finally whipping out onto the road I wanted to be on but going the wrong direction. I nailed it and jammed down this road until I came to a little traffic circle there which I made a few laps around giving the security dudes time to catch up in their little golf cart, then just as they got there I blew out of the circle past them and hit the road laughing my ass off.
I'm thinking I'm going to have to take my truck next time.


hiswiserangel said...

You look like a mad scientist! Ken-sanity personified.

Brock Townsend said...


rpm2day said...

Scary, Hannibal, just plain scary.
I hope the old man does well. Lost mine too soon.

MissK said...

Just follow the dogshit tracks, like cookie crumbs but stinkier. Best way to get the hell out of there.

Yeah, you better take the truck ...and what mayhem will you get into that time ;-) Crazy MF!!

Praying for your Pops, thank you for sharing.

Erinyes said...

You know you're a shit disturber of brobdingnagian proportions, don't you?

Deb said...

Jesus, you look like a crazed surgeon out of a horror flick in that getup!

Hope Pops is feeling better. Least you could do is bring him a slingshot.

Paul, Dammit! said...

Kenny I hope your dad's feeling better by the time you read this, but if he still feels rotten, talk to the goddamned doctor about treating his pain- very often our own biology responds better to some pain meds than others- I'm going through this right now with my mom, who is immune to morphine but responded well to a real mild dose of vicodin for a shattered leg. Sucks, and I hope your dad is doing better.

cato said...

Having made the rounds at several hospitals with my Mom and Dad.
Staying for weeks with one while the other was hospitalized.

Yeah, it was a hassle leaving my wife and kids, manuevering the various hospitals, floors, parking garages, fast food joints and cities.

All I can truly say, it was a blessing to spend that time with them both.

I would do anything to have a minute or more with either one of my folks.

Be Blessed, you are a good man, Ken. Take every opportunity to be with your loved ones. I know you will.

arty said...

Been there, done that. And our heartfelt prayers go out to you and yours, wirecutter. And thanks for coming back!

timbo said...

Growing up is for assholes!
Its your duty to make the best of a shitty situation.

Stinkwilly said...

They would have probably flipped their fuckin doilie if they knew, but then again, would have never realized or mentioned how much safer they REALLY were. Think not?
You were IN the hospital if needed. Security??? They were outside in a fucking golf cart trying to catch speeders. hahahaha
Sounds about right.

Stinkwilly said...

Oh, by the way Ken, hope Pops is improving. I talked to God and he said that he thinks he can help Pops, but're pretty well foooooked!! hahahahah

WiscoDave said...

Got your "Pops" in my prayers.
Hang in there, WC. Been there/done that myself (not the parking garage stuff! That must've been funnier then all hell to watch!!

GreyLocke said...

Does his hospital allow CCW on campus? That would be a first.

traditionsandskills said...

Keeping you and yours in my thoughts and prayers.

Nice gloves, BTW, lol.

Miss Violet

wirecutter said...

Stinkwilly and GreyLocke - I'm sure they would frown upon it if they knew, but fuck 'em.

Everybody else: Thank you.

drjim said...

Here's hoping he gets better soon, Kenny.