Saturday, August 11, 2012

Fun and games at the hospital

Yeah, so I went up and visited Pops today - he had a surgery Thursday and has some other shit going on so he's back in the hospital. Anyways, Mom texted that she wanted me to go up there and shave him so after I got my meat off the smoker I headed into town.
Anyways, I get in there and don the proper attire - facemask, gown and gloves - and wander in. Mom's there along with a couple of my nieces and Pops brother Ed and Cousin Skip, everybody watching the TV really intently. What the fuck's going on, did the arabs blow something up again? Then I walk into the room enough to see they're watching Professional Bull Riding with the sound down. Ahhhhh......

I don't know why I gotta wear all this shit anyways. If they're worried about maybe him being contagious wouldn't they think that his immediate family would've been infected before he was hospitalized? And if they're concerned about me passing something on to him how come they didn't say nothing about the dogshit I tracked through 4 floors of hospital? Somebody besides me had to have smelled it.

I asked him how his pain was and he just grimaced. A little later in the conversation I asked him if there was anything he needed and he said "Yeah, how 'bout my 45? Motherfuckers will listen then when I tell 'em I hurt."
"You bet" I said and bent down to hug him, catching that 'You-better-not-motherfucker' look from Mom, a look so intense that I caught myself before offering Pops to leave mine there with him.

For the first time in my life I managed to find my way out of the hospital without getting lost and having to take on calories at the cafeteria before continuing my quest for an exit, any exit. I walked out of his room and went right out the same door I came in. However I did get lost in the parking garage after finding the car. I swear to God I parked in the second stall when you enter, but instead of flipping around and driving out the entrance (there was absolutely no traffic) I decided to do the things the right way and find the exit. That motherfucker has 4 floors and I drove up and down every one of them going faster and faster, picking up a security escort along the way, finally whipping out onto the road I wanted to be on but going the wrong direction. I nailed it and jammed down this road until I came to a little traffic circle there which I made a few laps around giving the security dudes time to catch up in their little golf cart, then just as they got there I blew out of the circle past them and hit the road laughing my ass off.
I'm thinking I'm going to have to take my truck next time.