Glad that you're back.
Awww, I'll sit next to you, wirecutter.
I have a carefuly developed method I cal the GLARE. When that fails I sing the Whinnie the Pooh theme song never fails
LOL now that's a low blow Corey ;-) Personally I would opt for the theme song from Lambchops... ya know, the one that never ends..... Now that's the stuff of psychological warfare. But seriously wouldn't it be fun to do this just to get the reactions ~snicker~
As men seem to be alone in their talent of farting at will, I resort to olfactory warfare of a different kind. The cheapest, loudest, most obnoxious (noxious) cologne you kind buy for $5 bucks. Guaranteed to grant you at least a 5 foot perimeter, and anyone getting closer than that will be subjected to watering eyes, gagging and respiratory distress. Winnie the Pooh is too mild, I go for the jugular with the Barney song.
Take out pictures of your kids or grandkids. Don't have any? Fake them, download them, borrow them from a friend. Talk on and on and on about them. Nobody gives 2 shits about them and they'll bail. If you have the misfortune to have someone try to show you theirs back, talk over them about why yours are better.
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