Monday, December 10, 2012

At least I wasn't abducted by aliens

I was walking down a crowded street last night in the dark, unarmed and feeling very uncomfortable with the circumstances - people bumping into me and putting their hands on me when suddenly somebody came up from behind and threw their arms my chest and tried to throw me to the ground. I planted both feet, leaned forward a bit then twisted and gave him an elbow shot to the ribs as hard as I could.
"OW!!!" hollered Lisa as I sat straight up in bed, jaw and fists clenched.

Lisa? Lisa!!! Oh no, I was having a bad dream and hammered Lisa right in the ribs. Oh, shit. Thank God I was bound up with the covers and didn't hit her as hard as I was trying to.
Man, I felt horrible. I've never hit a woman in my life and here I've gone and popped my wife over a nightmare. I apologized over and over again until she told me to shut the fuck up and go back to sleep.
This morning over breakfast I noticed she was rubbing her ribs and I apologized again.
"Honey, it's okay, really. It was a bad dream. Quit worrying, it's just a little sore." I was breathing a little easier when she said that and then she continued "I'll pay you back tonight, don't worry."
Oh man.......