NORTH POLE—A story has leaked from the North Pole which spokeselves emphatically deny. Eighteen elves have died and another twenty-seven were said to be hospitalized from over-exertion attempting to fill orders this Christmas. Elves do not have a union. Santa had to quickly add eight new Rangifer tarandus—Commonly called Reindeer in America—and a trailer to his sled to carry the orders that could be fulfilled according to a whistleblower at the North Pole.
“Thank goodness that they were hospitalized before Obamacare took hold,” the whistleblower commented.