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Thursday, January 31, 2013

Gun beats scissors every time, man. Every time.


WASHINGTON — Is your workplace getting shot up by a crazed gunman?
No problem — just grab a pair of scissors and fight back!
That’s some of the helpful advice in a new instructional video from the Department of Homeland Security that was posted on the agency’s Web site just a month after the massacre at Sandy Hook Elementary School in Connecticut.
“If you are caught out in the open and cannot conceal yourself or take cover, you might consider trying to overpower the shooter with whatever means are available,” says the narrator in the video, which shows an office worker pulling scissors out of a desk drawer.
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9 comments:

Sevesteen said...

The disgusting part of this is that this advice is a marked improvement over the usual "give them what they want" or "we don't recommend self-help" BS.

Tech Solutions said...

Yeah...don't take scissors to a gunfight.

Stinkwilly said...

THIS, is what we have become. A nation of hand wringing pussies!!!!

crankyjohn said...

Sure, I will stick some scissors in their throat right after I blow their head off.

Deb said...

Oh come on, you know scissors would work over a gun but only if you cut the attacker's hair. Crazed gunmen do not like their hair touched, let alone cut.

CharlieDelta said...

What a fuckin' joke! Brainwashing more idiots to rely on the government for protection instead of stepping up to the plate themselves.

DHS - doing their damnedest to keep you unsafe...

Wrench said...

Yeah, if scissors are the cat's mow, why then, did they order up a billion bullets instead of scissors? That's what I thought.

Wraith said...

My available means are seven 9mm Golden Sabers. And I've got 28 more at hand.

If DHS is actually suggesting that office supplies would be a more effective means of defense, I'd check to see who in their ranks has large amounts of stock in Staples or Office Max.

John said...

I work in one of those "paperless offices". No paper. No scissors. Nothing any sharper than a Dry Erase marker. Guess they're SOL.