Worst fucking trip to Walmart EVER.
I went for 3 items - milk, cold brew tea and lemonade. I parked by the automotive/garden section where the checkout is usually less crowded so I can get the fuck out quicker. I go in, get my 3 things and go stand in line which isn't too long and just as I lay my shit on the counter, I realize that I got decaffeinated tea. Fuck that, I go all the way to the other side of the store and get real tea and go back. I round the corner into the garden section and there's about a million tweekers with a collective weight of maybe 200 pounds combined with their baskets piled full of junk food that they're going to pay for with their food stamp cards. Again, fuck that. I head back to the other side of the store and get in the self checkout line. I'll walk the half mile back to my truck, no big deal. I ring up my real tea and pick up the milk to ring it up and it's got a fucking pink top on it. Wrong kind of milk. Shit. I cancel the sale and go back and get the real deal. As I'm walking away I get smart and check the lemonade and you guessed it - sugar free.
Okay, I get the right stuff and check out and commence to hiking my ass back to my truck. When I get there, there's a shitload of illegals standing behind and just off to the right of my truck with their cart chock full of groceries up against my bumper. I put my bags in the back of my truck, hoping they'll take the hint. They don't. I smile nicely and move their cart about a foot to the side of my bumper so I can get gone and what does Pedro do? Gives me a dirty look and leans on the cart which pushes it back behind my truck. I start up, put it in reverse and tap my horn. They look at me like I was the rude one and turned back to continue their conversation.
The last I saw of their cart full of groceries it was doing about 20 miles an hour down the slope towards the truck dock with Jose and Pedro in hot pursuit.
The only bright spot of the whole trip was I saw a midget.