Friday, April 19, 2013

Lessons learned

Tomorrow marks my 21 year anniversary at work. It's been an experience, to say the least. Met some great people and some real assholes and learned a few lessons.
I've learned:
1) Hard work only gets you more difficult jobs because they know you can do them.

2) Calling your boss a stupid motherfucker also gets you the more difficult jobs.

3) Considering a boss as a friend is a fucking mistake. They're still your boss.

4) Yelling "Run, the motherfucker is gonna blow" during an unannounced fire drill is frowned upon. They keep telling me that even after 6-7 times, the fucking nags.

5) When reviewing the employee roster, remarking that the motherfucker reads like a Mexico City phone book is also not a good idea.

6) Telling your new boss that if you had a dog as stupid as she is you'd drown it is also not a good idea.

7) Locking a dead squirrel in a locker in the breakroom should've been a good idea except I use that locker room too. Motherfucker was uninhabitable for 2 weeks.

8) Sticking your hand in a boss's face and asking if it smelled like ass might seem funny then but.....

And that's just a few of the things I've learned. I'm sure there's more lessons to be learned, just gotta give me some time.


Robert Fowler said...

I've learned some lessons like that. But if you don;t have a little fun, it's not a adventure, it's just a job. I can say I was fired once for telling a boss he asked the stupidest question in the world.

Dan said...

In modern America the reward
for hard work and a job well done
is more job and the punishment for
being a lazy useless incompetent
screwoff is a regular paycheck.

angrymike said...

Also when your rah-rah boss says 'Yes we can', no the fuck we cant isn't the proper comeback ........

Sevesteen said...

The 213 things Skippy is no longer allowed to do in the U.S. Army:

wandering neurons said...

Looking at your list of "lessons learned", it's amazing you made it 21 years.
Then again, if they fired you, the'd have a pissed-off Wirecutter, and that's a BAD thing

wirecutter said...

I never said I haven't been suspended or disciplined.

rms/pa said...

at a meeting with the CFO and CEO present, picking up an accountant by his balls and throat, screaming "It was a yes or no question 20 minuits ago."

Yes you can be fired and ejected in a half hour.