David R. Nickel, according to the FBI, held up a Portland bank for 50 cents.
Mimicking a gun with his fingers and grasping a large stick of wood, he took the change from the confused U.S. Bank teller, according to a criminal complaint. Then he walked across the street to buy a Big Gulp drink at a 7-Eleven store.
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-Don in Oregon
No Slushee, no peace, bitchez
ReplyDeleteSkipperdaddy
WHAT?!!!!!!!
ReplyDeleteBig Gulps are LEGAL in Portland?
The left in Portland has not accepted Mini Mike's laws as 'true to the faith'?
SHAME ON THEM!
Typical instant gratification creature. I would asked for $1 so I'd been able to buy one the next day.
ReplyDeleteI never understood the mindset of "steal money to buy X thing', when it would be just as easy (or even easier/less risky) to just steal the THING directly.
ReplyDeleteSeriously.. if he went into the 7-11, poured himself a slushie then just walked out, odds are they wouldn't even bothered to tell the cops at all; but rob a bank (even if it's just 50 cents) and you're now looking at a federal rap.
A few days ago, a man in North Carolina robbed a bank for $1 so that he could get medical care in prison.
ReplyDeleteHe fucked up, though.
Because he didn't have a weapon, he wasn't charged with armed robbery, and the simple larceny charge only gets him 12 months in county.
You mean David "Willie Sutton" Nickel? That David Nickel?
ReplyDeleteGuy didn't have 10 nickels to rub together eh?
ReplyDeleteThis boy just wants to learn his trade by startin' at the bottom and workin' his way up. When a FNG walks onto the job site for the first time, to they give him a hammer and a saw an' tell him to go build a house? Hell no, he's the go-fer.
ReplyDeleteHow do you eat an elephant?
One bite at a time.
Next, our boy'll move up to stealin' donuts from cops.
Inbred Redneck