That'll fix 'im

I finally figured out that I couldn't support both me and his beer habit so CharlieGoddamit's been sober for a couple of weeks now.
He wasn't happy about me refusing him beer so I figured I'd cure him of it.
At first I thought I could do it the easy way - I'd just tell him no and that would be that.
Yeah, right. He'd just wait until I left the room and then knock over mine and lap it up.
Then I thought aversion was the answer so I bought a six pack of Coors Light (I'd rather suck a dick than drink that shit) and flung it at him in the back yard. He just dodged the cans, then bit them open and drank them.
Then it hit me: I filled a beer can with concentrated lemon juice, told him no then ducked into the dark kitchen. He acted all innocent for a minute, then jumped up, knocked over the can and started lapping it up.
He's been on the wagon ever since.