I survived!

Well, it's been 2 weeks since Miss Lisa took off for Tennessee to visit her folks and grandkids and she's due in tonight.
It's been rough but I've managed to survive - not only survive but doing it in my own special way.
I pretty much did all the shit I wanted to do and none of the shit that I was supposed to do. I mean, it's not like I had a list or anything but other than 2 specific instructions (Don't go to jail and don't get laid) I was pretty much left up to my own devices.

 So here's a list of shit that I got accomplished around the house in 2 weeks:
1) I wired up some security lights
2) I put in the tomatoes and peppers.

Short fucking list, huh? Did 2 things in 2 weeks. See, I ain't lost my touch.

But there were other little everyday things too. I managed to put the hurt on the better part of a grown pig and I ate a fucking vegetable. I cooked a pizza in the oven instead of the smoker. I shot some pigeons. I slept in every day I was off. I tried brushing CharlieGodammit out and only got bit once. I shot some gophers. I mowed the yard. I went coyote calling. I made the bed once. I went fishing. I found the old lady's candy stash. I ate the old lady's candy stash. And I did the dishes.

This morning was spent vacuuming, sweeping and doing laundry. The house doesn't look real bad (motherfucker's still standing) so I don't think I'll be in too much trouble when she gets in.
And I didn't go to jail or get laid.