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Monday, May 21, 2012

Did San Francisco move to me or what?

Are there not any normal people in this fucking world anymore?
I went to town this morning for a dental appointment and on the way back I stopped at my favorite gas station to fill up my tank. I usually hit that sucker at 4:45 AM but what the hell, I'm here now. The pump pay isn't working so I go stand in line to pay at the booth and in front of me stands a midget with a pink dachshund, a drunk that's so fucked up he's staggering in place and a black hooker with a crooked eyeball and no front teeth that's singing to herself. I'm the only one there for gas. The midget wants water for his dog, the drunk needs smokes and the hooker is working the line for business.
The drunk blows bacon into and all over the trash can, the pussy pink dog starts licking it up, the midget smiles and remarks something about not having to feed him tonight and the hooker grabbed my ass, all within about 5 seconds. I push the dog aside, kick the midget accidentally on purpose and slap the whore's hand away from my ass and check my wallet.
Fuck the circus, I'll go somewhere else for gas. This shit's getting too weird, even for me.
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11 comments:

  1. PatriotUSAMay 21, 2012 at 5:37 PM

    WC,
    Sounds like something that will or has happened to me.

    Just another day in what we now seem to refer to as normal.

    Not for me and is it any wonder I just want to live away from people and not deal with loon parade that now passes for normal.

    Shoot 'em all.

    ReplyDelete
  2. AnonymousMay 21, 2012 at 5:37 PM

    Welcome to 2012 America.

    ReplyDelete
  3. tucsondonMay 21, 2012 at 5:41 PM

    Like I tell me wife, "Everybody's strange except you and me and sometimes I'm not so sure about you."

    ReplyDelete
  4. Chief Nose WetterMay 21, 2012 at 6:49 PM

    Sounds like an average day in Jersey.

    ReplyDelete
  5. ErinyesMay 21, 2012 at 7:03 PM

    Hey, I THOUGHT that was you at the Key West Shell today!

    ReplyDelete
  6. AnonymousMay 21, 2012 at 7:18 PM

    It's just the new normal in Amerika.

    And nothing will change if Willard is...elected.[sic]

    ReplyDelete
  7. hiswiserangelMay 21, 2012 at 7:35 PM

    Thank God for small town Texas.

    ReplyDelete
  8. timboMay 21, 2012 at 7:57 PM

    Guess yer gonna have to move a bit further north! The screwballs are spreading out.

    ReplyDelete
  9. AnonymousMay 21, 2012 at 8:54 PM

    They keep breeding, multiplying and spreading. I had something similar happen in Seattle back in the mid-70's whilst serving on Uncle's sewer pipes.

    ReplyDelete
  10. angrymikeMay 22, 2012 at 12:48 AM

    I'll be tell ya what, in Ohio it ain't like that unless your downtown. Git yur ass the fuck out of that shithole you call a state. Im not a big guy but ppl tend to stay away, no tats no piercings nothing, it's the place you live man. That place just ain't right.........

    ReplyDelete
  11. Robert FowlerMay 22, 2012 at 10:51 AM

    You should have taken pictures. I've never seen a pink dachshund.

    ReplyDelete

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