Mowed the lawn today, and after doing so I sat down and had a couple nice cold beers. The day was really quite beautiful, and the brew facilitated some deep thinking on various topics.
Finally I thought about an age old question: Is giving birth more painful than getting kicked in the Nuts?
Women always maintain that giving birth is way more painful than a guy getting kicked in the nuts.
Well, after another beer, and some heavy deductive thinking, I have come up with the answer to that question.
Getting kicked in the nuts is more painful than having a baby; and here is the reason for my conclusion
A year or so after giving birth, a woman will often say, "it might be nice to have another child."
On the other hand, you never hear a guy say, "You know, I think I would like another kick in the nuts."
On the other hand, you never hear a guy say, "You know, I think I would like another kick in the nuts."
I rest my case.
- RDM73
Absolfuckinglutely corfuckingrect.
ReplyDeleteLOL I have to play Devil's Advocate for a moment here, and keep in mind I've had a few toddy's ;-)
ReplyDeleteYou forgot to compare apples to apples. Getting kicked in the nuts does not give you a gift in return. So suppose for a moment, you did get an amazing gift in return, like for example... 20 year supply of your favorite beer, or better yet, free ammo for any one of your favorite guns. Wouldn't you want another kick in the nuts if it gave you a lifetime supply of ammo for your assault riffle too?
Oh, and how many days do you have to wait to have sex again after your kick in the nuts? One day, two days? I'm thinking hours if you had the opportunity.
I rest MY case ;-)
I've had two emergency c-sections, damn near died the second time, and I seriously considered kicking hubby in the balls....
ReplyDeleteStealing that one...spot on.
ReplyDeleteNighty-night MissK.....
ReplyDeleteGood night Kenny, I had fun with that one ;-)
ReplyDeleteThe women are wrong and we are right.......so naaaa.......
ReplyDeleteIt's not pay-off thing, MissK. It's a pain (in the) thing. And the answer was so simple is why it has alluded us for so long. ;)
ReplyDeleteSorry Miss K; not a good comparison....the beer and bullets will give me good times and possible some venison. The kid will give me bills, late night phone calls of distress and requests for more money.
ReplyDeleteSteve
Okay, forget the payoff..
ReplyDeleteYou guys are still comparing a sharp momentary pain, to enduring childbirth with ripped body part, loss of blood, no sex for weeks, scars and yes what Steve said about the kid, bills and distress and all that shit... Wimps!!
And Mike, naaaa? is that all you got? :P
Steve, you just made our argument for us. The pain of getting kicked in the nuts lasts maybe a couple of hours, grab a bag of frozed peas and suck it up. I was in ICU for a day, hospital for 8, 28 staples holding my guts in, the took away my happy button after 3. And as you so eloquently stated, the pain keeps on long after the staples come out. We win.
ReplyDeleteMissK, it is NOT a sharp momentary pain.
ReplyDeleteIt's a very deep dull ache and it literally feels like something is tearing your guts out through your asshole. And it lasts for hours, sometimes days.
If I even suspect you are about to kick me in the balls, I will beat your fucking ass. No shit, it hurts that bad.
We win.
MissK, did you have an episiotomy? And wirecutter, you know I have the utmost respect for you, but "feeling like your guts are being pulled out" and actually having them pulled out and laying on the operating table next to you while they unwrap your small intestine from around your daughter's foot is like comparing a hang nail to amputation. SUCK IT UP.
ReplyDelete... same thing trough our vagina, or tummy in Angel's case :P
ReplyDeleteBut I do appreciate your description of the feeling, it helps balance things out... with that said, maybe we should all agree to disagree.. eh?
I would never dream of kicking you in the nuts, I did my ex though, but he was an ass ;-)
Ken pegged it pretty well. I'll buy my own ammo.
ReplyDeleteJ.G.
Both of you child-bearing females are banned for the night.
ReplyDeleteWe're right.
Son of a bitch! Dammit. Fortunately, MissK has my naughty corner already up on her blog....
ReplyDeleteGoddamnit!!!!!
ReplyDeleteBanned, I say, Banned!
;-)
ReplyDeleteRough corral tonight!
ReplyDeletea woman has 14 kids number 15 on the way can't be to painful if she keeps poppin them out
ReplyDeleteher brother got kicked in the nuts once and they had to cut his nuts off now tell me nicely how thats a fucking reward
no disrespect intended ladies
rpm, no corral; MissK and I are free range babes.
ReplyDeleteAnonymous, we were discussing the idiots on MTV's Scarred. One guy skateboarding, hit the rail and ripped his scrotum open. Rode to the hospital holding his testicles in his hand. I guess he wins. ;-)
~hanging head, mumbling~
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry, I apologize to the Honorable Wirecutter and all of his y-chromosome readers. I was heavily drugged, so childbirth was both (looking at notes) "painless and euphoric".
Now may I be forgiven? Please?