Relax. It's gonna be fine.

If you believe in that sort of thing, humanity can expect a mere two months left of existence before the Mayan apocalypse hits Dec. 21.

Today (Oct. 21) starts the two-month countdown toward doomsday, according to an interpretation of the Mayan calendar that has taken hold in some New Age and spiritualist communities online.

Two ancient texts confirm the end date of the Mayan Long Count calendar on the winter solstice of this year, which is Dec. 21, 2012. That day is the last day of the 13th bak'tun, or 144,000-day cycle, of the calendar. Ancient Maya would have seen the end of the 13th bak'tun as the end of a full cycle of creation.

However, experts in Mayan history say the end of the Long Count calendar is the equivalent of needing to buy a new calendar every year in December — not a harbinger of doomsday.

"This new evidence suggests that the 13 bak'tun date was an important calendrical event that would have been celebrated by the ancient Maya; however, they make no apocalyptic prophecies whatsoever regarding the date," Marcello Canuto, the director of Tulane University Middle America Research Institute, told LiveScience after the discovery of an ancient text referring to the date.

Not all apocalypse believers think the Mayan Apocalypse will bring fire and brimstone, or extinguish life on Earth. According to John Hoopes, a scholar of Maya history at the University of Kansas, many believers see the day as a time of spiritual transformation.

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Well, if they are right, I've got a hell of a lot of ammo to shoot up between now and then.

The Mexicans have probably been planning this all along anyways - part of that whole reconquista thing, you know? It's just going to be the end of the world for us gringos. And am I the only one to notice that it falls between the election and ignaguration? Maybe our South-of-the-border brothers are right, The Obamessiah and Obamney election results are going to destroy the world.

Give me a fucking break. People have been predicting the end of the world since, well, the beginning of the world. The end of the world is going to come the day you die. Don't be so fucking impressed with yourself that you think the day you die you're taking 7.046% billion of your best friends with you.
Black Peter, a song by the Grateful Dead comes to mind right now, about a man realizing his own insignificance as he lies dying. Here's the verse that's I'm thinking about right now:

See here how everything lead up to this day
and it's just like any other day that's ever been
Sun goin up and then the sun it goin down
Shine through my window and my friends they come around