Tomorrow marks my 21 year anniversary at work. It's been an experience, to say the least. Met some great people and some real assholes and learned a few lessons.
I've learned:
1) Hard work only gets you more difficult jobs because they know you can do them.
2) Calling your boss a stupid motherfucker also gets you the more difficult jobs.
3) Considering a boss as a friend is a fucking mistake. They're still your boss.
4) Yelling "Run, the motherfucker is gonna blow" during an unannounced fire drill is frowned upon. They keep telling me that even after 6-7 times, the fucking nags.
5) When reviewing the employee roster, remarking that the motherfucker reads like a Mexico City phone book is also not a good idea.
6) Telling your new boss that if you had a dog as stupid as she is you'd drown it is also not a good idea.
7) Locking a dead squirrel in a locker in the breakroom should've been a good idea except I use that locker room too. Motherfucker was uninhabitable for 2 weeks.
8) Sticking your hand in a boss's face and asking if it smelled like ass might seem funny then but.....
And that's just a few of the things I've learned. I'm sure there's more lessons to be learned, just gotta give me some time.
I've learned some lessons like that. But if you don;t have a little fun, it's not a adventure, it's just a job. I can say I was fired once for telling a boss he asked the stupidest question in the world.
ReplyDeleteIn modern America the reward
ReplyDeletefor hard work and a job well done
is more job and the punishment for
being a lazy useless incompetent
screwoff is a regular paycheck.
Also when your rah-rah boss says 'Yes we can', no the fuck we cant isn't the proper comeback ........
ReplyDeleteThe 213 things Skippy is no longer allowed to do in the U.S. Army: http://skippyslist.com/list/
ReplyDeleteLooking at your list of "lessons learned", it's amazing you made it 21 years.
ReplyDeleteThen again, if they fired you, the'd have a pissed-off Wirecutter, and that's a BAD thing
I never said I haven't been suspended or disciplined.
ReplyDeleteat a meeting with the CFO and CEO present, picking up an accountant by his balls and throat, screaming "It was a yes or no question 20 minuits ago."
ReplyDeleteYes you can be fired and ejected in a half hour.
rms/pa