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Friday, May 15, 2020

6 months.....



Well, it's been 6 months ago today since CharlieGodammit died. I know, it doesn't seem like that long ago, does it?
I can't believe how much I miss that damned dog. I still wake up every morning expecting to see him at the door so he could go outside to ambush me with a pile of shit where he knew I'd be walking later.
I'm still finding myself dropping my hand down from the arm of my chair to scratch him, only now instead of a grateful lick I'm finding nothing.
I still catch myself scanning the property wondering just where in the hell did that dog wander off to now?


I wonder sometimes if I'll ever get over him. Sometimes I wish I will but really, in a way I hope I don't. I know he'd never have gotten over me if I had died before he did.




46 comments:

  1. I feel your pain WC. I had to put my little one down 4 1/2 years ago and I still miss her tremendously. She was the best dog I ever had.

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  2. There are many, many good dogs. There are very few great ones.
    Just this morning when I woke up I reached down and patted the floor where my little girl cow dog would have been laying. RIP, Terry. RIP, Charlie.

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  3. Hell Kenny;

    You know that CGD was more popular than you are on your blog, we tuned in to catch the latest stories. Seriously though, you are a good doggie dad to inspire loyalty like that. Jack won't take his place but he will help in his own ornary way.

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  4. My dad was like that with his Border Collie, Flicka. He said that almost 10 years after she died he would catch himself look for her, or reach down to the side of his chair to pet her or scratch her ears and when she wasn't there, and then he'd remember she was gone.

    I don't know if he ever really got over her. When he died 5 years ago, her ashes were buried with his.

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  5. Man oh man, this post reminded me of my Heidi-girl. My wife used to call her my girlfriend, claiming I would rather spend time with Heidi more than her.

    I just dropped my face in my hands when I considered this, and my Heidi. A 90 pound Doberman, rough as sandpaper with any threats, but gentle as a dove with children and me.

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    1. I am as moved as you are Mr Smith, I had an Australian Shepard that my ex-wife also called her my girlfriend too, we were inseparable. Fortunately I had a job where I could take her with me. I told my wife just before we were married to never make me choose between her and my dog(s), 'cause it would have been nice to have known ya... I guess one of the reason I am now an ex-husband. I still have the dog and she don't care if I stay up watching Terminator movies in my undies, eating chili cheese dogs with extra cheese and onions and drinking beer, she loves me anyway.

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    2. Ha! That's funny. My girl had a personality, they tell me it come with the breed, but she was special. In her early years she was playful to the point that it was tiring. Let's play ... let's fight ... let's play ... let's fight ... please, please love on me, sleep, let's play ... let's fight ... please love on me ...

      My neighbor once told me it must be like having a girlfriend on crack.

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  6. We feel your pain, Wirecutter. I've had a pack of Dogs over the past 60 years and each and every one has a piece of my heart.

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  7. Jesus Christ Kenny, you keep making me cry. I miss Charlie GD too like many of your readers. He looks like a fabulous dog, very handsome. You have a great heart.

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  8. It will be 2 years in June I had my Catahoula, Pepper put down. I still miss that little hell hound.

    On a lighter note, my daughter brought home a puppy last night. She got it from the dog pound. Nobody seems to know what the breed is. Looks like some German Shepard and maybe some hound. She's probably around 6-8 weeks old. That little pup seems to know she's where she belongs. Friendly and smart, just in the few hours she's been with us, she's made herself right at home.

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  9. I was having a hard time with the loss of a niece some time ago. it was a real dark period. One day I clicked on your blog and there was that picture of CGD hiking his leg on your trail cam. I totally cracked up and I'll never forget it. First time I had laughed in while. CGD did good!

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    1. I've still got that picture. Makes me laugh every time I run across it.

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  10. I'm sorry and glad you are remembering him so fondly. Sad that you still miss him, but glad you were lucky enough to have him in your Life when you did. I'm sure the good times outnumber the bad memories.

    We lost one of our indoor pets in February. Miss him like Hell - he was a character too.

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  11. 6 months too for Crockett and I still tear up if I dwell on him.

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  12. I hear you... I still miss Rex and that's been over 10 years.

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  13. I hoping Miss Lisa is able to look at the book and artwork without it being too painful. He was awfully close to her and her to him.

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  14. Thanks, Kenny. I can see I'm not the only reader who misses Charlie too.

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  15. Every day for ten years, the last thing I did every night was take the dog out. It was six months before I could break the habit of going to the back door before going to bed.

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  16. Hard for me to believe it has been 6 months, and he wasn't even my dog.

    You made him a part of a lot of families.

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  17. I'll be tipping a cold one to Charlie today.

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  18. I feel ya, man. Radar has been gone 20 years and Roxy for 7. Both German shepherds. Miss both of them, daily. But I can see them anytime i want. A tattoo on each upper arm. Radar on the right and Roxy on the left

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  19. God gave dogs a shorter lifespan than Man so that we can enjoy more of them.
    Each canine has their own special attributes, that is left to us to bring out.
    Some that are brought into this world never have that special person to make them shine, while many find their match made in heaven.

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  20. Well, shoot! No, it doesn't seem like it has been 6 months. Charlie was a very special dog, not only to us but those of us who read here. You did make him a part of all of our families. You just don't get over a good dog quickly. He will be right here in your heart forever.
    Thanks for the good memories of a great dog. It did my heart good today.
    sunny

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  21. Kenny, I'm a very regular reader of your blog, but have never commented before...I felt compelled to send something when CGD passed away, but couldn't find this, the thing I was looking for...this helped me thru the passing of sevral wonderful dogs...sorry if it's a long comment for your blog...

    I Stood By Your Bed Last Night
    I stood by your bed last night, I came to have a peep. I could see That you were crying, You found it hard to sleep.

    I whined to you softly as you brushed away a tear, "It's me, I Haven't left you, I'm well, I'm fine, I'm here."

    I was close to you at breakfast, I watched you pour the tea, You Were thinking of the many times, your hands reached down to me.

    I was with you at the shops today, Your arms were getting sore.
    I longed to take your parcels, I wish I could do more.

    I was with you at my grave today, You tend it with such care.
    I want to reassure you, that I'm not lying there.

    I walked with you towards the house, as you fumbled for your key.
    I gently put my paw on you, I smiled and said "it's me."

    You looked so very tired, and sank into a chair.
    I tried so hard to let you know, that I was standing there.

    It's possible for me to be so near you everyday.
    To say to you with certainty, "I never went away."

    You sat there very quietly, then smiled, I think you knew, in the Stillness of that evening, I was very close to you.

    The day is over... I smile and watch you yawning and say "good- Night, God bless, I'll see you in the morning."

    And when the time is right for you to cross the brief divide, I'll rush across to greet you and we'll stand, side by side.

    I have so many things to show you, there is so much for you to see.
    Be patient, live your journey out ... Then come home to be with me.

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  22. I also lost a great dog about the same time and I still miss him mostly because he would always tell me when someone was coming to the house. Our current dog just sleeps through that. He did bark a lot and always wanted to attack other dogs even when he was 170 in dog years.


    we all miss these great dogs for years.

    Joe

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  23. Why is it we seem to get over the loss of a person somewhat easier than our dogs. Thanks for posting this Ken, I needed a good cry.

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  24. Dog are the best...Your post makes me miss Charlie too...

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  25. RIP. Kenny, CDG will be waiting for you at the Rainbow Bridge........Ed in WA

    Just this side of heaven is a place called Rainbow Bridge.

    When an animal dies that has been especially close to someone here, that pet goes to Rainbow Bridge. There are meadows and hills for all of our special friends so they can run and play together. There is plenty of food, water and sunshine, and our friends are warm and comfortable.

    All the animals who had been ill and old are restored to health and vigor. Those who were hurt or maimed are made whole and strong again, just as we remember them in our dreams of days and times gone by. The animals are happy and content, except for one small thing; they each miss someone very special to them, who had to be left behind.

    They all run and play together, but the day comes when one suddenly stops and looks into the distance. His bright eyes are intent. His eager body quivers. Suddenly he begins to run from the group, flying over the green grass, his legs carrying him faster and faster.

    You have been spotted, and when you and your special friend finally meet, you cling together in joyous reunion, never to be parted again. The happy kisses rain upon your face; your hands again caress the beloved head, and you look once more into the trusting eyes of your pet, so long gone from your life but never absent from your heart.

    Then you cross Rainbow Bridge together....

    Author unknown...

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  26. Kenny, I'm so sorry.
    You're absolutely right. My dad just passed this Feb. and his dog hasn't been the same since. We both have gravel pit voices that make her happy when she hears me come in. But then she can't find him. Literally makes me well up when I hear the howls.

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  27. Hye, Bor, it's been nearly 8 years since I lost my last dog.

    I still do the shit you do,

    Ain't never gonna end, I think.

    Some dogs (and a few people) take our hearts.

    Just ride with it. THe loss never goes away but the pain dulls a bit after some time.

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  28. You will never forget him Ken, But it will get less painful. Jack will never replace him, but he will come around in his own way, as my other two have done for me, after the loss of a great one.

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  29. Thank you for making Charlie G.D., a part of my life too.

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  30. Schnapps, Bagel and Addie. Those three dogs brought so much joy, love and companionship to my life and that allows me to endure the huge holes in my heart when they died. Six months ago I added CGD to that list. I loved that dog and I never met him. He was just the coolest dog ever!

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    1. Nutjob..... I still smile when I think of her.

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  31. When Annie, our second golden got us up one morning at 4am, in distress and no longer able to walk, my wife asked me "What are we going to do?" I replied: "We'll do what we have to do. The hardest thing I've ever done in my life is about to become the second hardest." I still miss my Molly dog, and it's been over 20 years. Rosie is now 4 years old and asleep at my feet.
    If you don't already have it, look up Kipling's "The Power of the Dog" Be careful when you read it though, it's some of the most powerful use of language I've ever read, and to this day I can't read it through without choking up.

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    1. https://poets.org/poem/power-dog
      Why should we give our hearts to a dog to tear?
      Because they're the best part of life, don't you know!

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  32. The pain goes away so slowly but eventually the memories of the good times, the companionship, the devotion, and even the stupidity are there to remind you of the Best Dog That Ever Lived.

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  33. Yeah, it's a tough loss, and my sympathies, Kenny. If it will help, when I get prodded subconsciously to look for one of my dogs long gone (she was real special in a similar way), I've always thought it's just her way of reminding me that she's waiting for me to join her eventually. I've got two terrific pups now, and two cats with'em. We raised them all together from about 5 weeks and they all think they're the same species, same litter. Pets are great, truly God's gift.

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  34. Yeah, I know what you mean. Over thirty years for one dog that I still think about daily. Sigh.

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  35. I am having a scotch, WC... and a good one at that.

    "To absent friends!"

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  36. Dogs are the most faithful of friends.

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  37. I'm fairly old and have had a lot of dogs. All were special in their own way and missed terribly when I lost them. That is one of our curses to outlive our pets which are really family members.

    I swore when I lost my Airedale I would not have another but my wife talked me into another one. Actually we adopted two and one of them is more my soul mate than my wife.

    I am really hoping that I outlive him.

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  38. This all sound like some kind of self help/support group for widows, cancer survivors or drunks.
    We all need to get together over a keg and share some stories

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  39. I found my girl a Rottie Shepard mixed laid out on the floor one morning had to take a week off of work I was afraid of a co-worker saying ' it's just a dog' I feel my week off saved some co-worker some pain and rehabilitation. I know were your coming from man.

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  40. I have dogs that have been gone for decades and sometimes I'll see, hear or smell something that reminds me of them and it is like a knife to my heart.

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