Wednesday, July 22, 2020

Gotta be mindful of that 'Embarrassing the Company' clause, people

The Border Patrol’s parent agency said Friday that it fired four employees and suspended 38 without pay for inappropriate social media activity following revelations of a secret Facebook group that mocked members of Congress and migrants.

The investigation began in July 2019 after posts surfaced in a secret Facebook group called “I’m 10-15.” They questioned the authenticity of images of a migrant father and child dead on the banks of the Rio Grande River and depicted doctored images of Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez purporting to perform a sex act on President Donald Trump.


I remember Corporate coming down and giving us a series of talks up in the warehouse lunchroom about company rules when we went from working for an independent contractor to working for Safeway back around the beginning of 2002, all part of our company orientation.
This woman is in a business suit and trying to tell us that we're 'company representatives' even during our off-time and we need to conduct ourselves as such and not to do anything that might embarrass the company or we'll get canned.
Roger, one of the Pinoy Boys, stands up and says "Wait a minute. You mean to tell me that if me and my wife are shopping at Safeway and she gets mouthy with me and I slap the shit out of her, I can be fired if they know I work for Safeway's warehouse?"
The babe giving the talk looks a little flustered for a second, regains her composure, clears her throat and says "Yes, that's correct. If you do that, you will be fired."
Roger says "Fuck that shit, I'm doing my shopping at Albertson's then." The entire lunchroom erupted in laughter.
Class was over for the day.

One more about Roger:
The very next day the (female) Personnel Manager for Corporate is there to give us a talk about the Company's policy on sexual harassment. Pinoy is sitting on the far side of the room with all the other Filipinos and the P.M. between him and the door. He sees me and my buddy Rick walk in, jumps up and hollers "Kenny Lane! Rick Marshall! Come here and let me give you some Asian love, motherfuckers!" and meets us halfway, right in front of the woman, then throws his arms around me and sticks his fucking tongue in my ear, then proceeds to chase Rick down and does the same to him.
After the class is over, me, Rick and Pinoy are all up in the warehouse manager's office supposedly to get our asses chewed out to satisfy the Personnel Manager and the boss is laughing so hard he's fucking crying and all he can say is "You bunch of wild motherfuckers, you're going to get us all fired" before he goes into another giggling fit.


  1. What I've always told assholes who came to talk to us like that I will do what I please on my own time so unless you're paying 24/7 you've got nothing more to say to me. No one ever said shit to me about my attitude. Fuck Em

  2. The last company I worked for had that in the Employee Handbook -- anything that "might" reflect badly on the company was grounds for dismissal.

    Even when I left, the severance agreement had a clause that if I said anything they didn't like, they would sue (at my expense) for recovery of the severance amount. My attorney said, "Go ahead and sign; if they pull anything we'll countersue."

  3. Hey Kenny;

    This was back when men could be men in the workplace....God I miss those days.....

  4. MartinFromGermanyJuly 22, 2020 at 9:34 AM

    I just wanted to remind you that you still need to write that book.
    Don't hope on us letting up reminding you. Because ... you still need to write that book.

    1. Believe it or not, I've got 90% of my stories saved in a series of Word docs just for that reason.

    2. If you title it "The Human Resources Department Can Kiss My Ass" then you will sell a million copies, retire to Aruba (or some such tax haven) and we will never hear from you again ....

  5. Those was the days,
    Today, if a pink-haired d-JE calls you a dumb-c-sucker, it’s her right to expression. But if I call someone who actually dose suck c-ck , a c-sucker, it’s hate speech.

  6. I miss those days.....

  7. I would tell that HR talking head that if Safeway would like me to conduct myself as a Safeway representative 24 hrs a day then Safeway needs to pay me 24 hrs a day otherwise she could fornicate herself with a bottle brush

  8. Funny how the companies have no problem with doing things that embarrass the employees.

  9. @sammoore, they tried to get us to sign that again last March or April and we told them fuck that. We raised a stink so they went back and took out the crap about anything we do when not on their property. I told the boss right to his face that the second I pulled out of the driveway that they ceased to exist and they didn't have a damn thing to say about anything I did. Could have something to do with why I got laid off but fuck them.

  10. Dang. You guys have problems with authority. My own self, fired insubordination, fired insubordination, fired insubordination, fired for deciding a beer day at the lake was better than shoveling dirt. Oh, another fired insubordination. And another. Those were civilian jobs. The Army just said, so long, shalom, don't call us, you'll get a check every month.

  11. Last company I worked for had the VP's Executive Assistant bring her wife to the company Christmas party, and the "wife" stirred the pot then said it was because she's gay. I did not attend the party, and when HR called me into the office and asked me how I view lesbian relationships the answer they wanted was not "On DVD", but its what I said.
    No sense of humor, but I'm not missing working for those snowflakes anymore.

  12. i just go and watch this clip from Rescue Me

  13. Had a consultant come in to give a class on domestic violence. I asked her how many abused women it took to change a light bulb? No. One, if she knows what's good for her....she did not have a sense of humor.


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