I have been involved in Christian ministry for over twenty years and have over the course of this time, pastored three separate churches and ministered in hundreds more. I am a far cry from being a seasoned professional and would hardly claim to be an expert; however, I have been in this thing long enough to make a few observations.
In recent years, a string of high-profile ministry suicides have captivated the nation and left several people asking the same question my wife asked me last week, “Why does it seem that so many pastors are suddenly struggling with their mental health than in previous years?”
Though I have no statistical evidence to promote my case, I can speak from my own experience.
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I am retiring this Sunday after being a Lutheran pastor for 39 years. I can truly relate. However what was not mentioned was the smiles, blessings, and love I've received.
ReplyDeleteI don't understand. How can a pastor retire? You're still alive, you're a pastor, you need to keep spreading the Gospel.
Deletejust because he is retiring from pastoring doesn't mean he won't continue to spread the gospel. There is more responsibility on the average church member to spread the gospel than the pastor. Our modern mindset, practices, and expectations concerning the church and the pastor has veered off the biblical foundations.
DeleteMy pastor retired three times and moved out of town - and it still didn't take. He was one in a million.
DeleteCongratulations Brother. And, thank you.
DeleteSounds like some churches need a preacher to handle one aspect and a shepherd (pastor) to handle other businesses. Preacher and pastor are not the same.
ReplyDeleteOut grab a leaf from the Mormons book and have lots of stuff h pastors that are assigned to look out after this family and that.
DeleteNot more than three or four people per sub-pastor. (And yes, that essentially means half the congregation is assigned to look out for the other half.)
I was involved in ministry for 20 years. Mostly rural churches off the beaten path. I stepped away in 2018 because I was just burn out. I moved my family to 4 different states in my time and it was the same everywhere we went. There is always the good folks who will help you more than you will ever help them. This group is sadly the minority. Next there is the needy people who you can never please regardless how much attention you give them. Then there is the greedy people who want to police every financial decision you make, because they could've would've should've been consulted. And last but not least is the straight up assholes who live to make your life miserable in any way possible. Today's American church is not what church is supposed to be. I've been to several 3rd world countries and the sense of community and comradery in those churches was breath taking. They never fought over what color the carpet was, they were lucky to have carpet. They didn't complain when the services lasted past noon. They wanted to spend time together more than bn anything else. My saying is "church would be great if it wasn't for the people."
ReplyDeleteYup that's pretty much it in a nut shell ....
DeleteI may be wrong to suggest it but you call to mind the Rabbi Stayed Home series of books I really enjoyed reading. If you like to read fiction, he wrote at least half a dozen really good books about Rabbi Small.
Deleteit was your words about the damned parishioners that made me recall. Some people are just to eager to fight to sit and give blessings.
If the church is governed by church elders, which is an excellent form of government, ask the Elders for help with the rest of the congregation. Our church Elder would call each of us once during the week just to see if we were okay, if we needed anything, and would pray with us and for us. It was great!
ReplyDeleteI made it a point to call my pastor once a week just to see if he was doing okay, and ask if I could help him in any way. When I was given the opportunity, I was always glad to help him out.
The very few times I called an Elder or my Pastor and asked for help, I got what I needed. None of them were ever too busy, too tired, or failed to answer the phone. The night my dear mother passed away, my Pastor sat with me, not talking, just sat until I felt I could leave the hospital and drive home. Main Lady just got up and left without a word, but not my Pastor. That's how the Lord works.
Setting limits and learning to say "no" without feeling bad are good-but elusive-skills for most people to have and use. After I married and left home our pastor was in a psych hospital and still managed suicide. Even way back then few parishoners appreciated the toll it could take on their pastor.
ReplyDeleteNot as serious as suicide, but important for "general condition" of the church, you may want to see "God, Family, and Guns" youtube "I Quit".
ReplyDelete