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Tuesday, August 11, 2020

Well, this is going to be interesting...

I had to stop in at the vet and get a bag of fluids for Legal Lucy a little bit ago and as they were getting them for me, all the vet techs popped into the lobby to chat with me and ask how she was doing. They see me every couple of weeks or so, so they all know me by name.
They were all smiles as I was being waited on and rung up, then I dropped the bombshell on them.
"As long as I'm here, that asshole dog Jack's vaccinations are due at the end of the month, so let's get an appointment scheduled for that."
BOOM, that wiped the smiles off of every one of their faces and the preacher's wife started visibly trembling.
"Okay Ken, we've got him set up for one o'clock right after lunch when the lobby is empty" Laura said with a bit of a catch in her voice. She must've remembered a couple of years ago when that asshole dog Jack kicked the living shit out of Pork Chop Jones' prize coonhound right there in front of God and everybody. "Would you like a Trazodone to give him a couple hours before to calm him down?"
"Nah, he'll be fine." I didn't bother to tell her that I've got a fistful of them in the medicine cabinet and yes, I'll most definitely be drugging his ass.
I swear, that dog can fuck up somebody's day 24 hours in advance.

21 comments:

  1. Sorry you got stuck with Jack. We just got a 9 week old puppy. It's like having a baby in the house again, and she decided that nighttime outside is too scary to shit. So she's learned that in her kennel is the best place. So my morning workout routine also now includes rinsing the dog, peeling dog shit off of a towel and running laundry. Of course, I never let on I wanted a dog, let the kids and wife think it was their idea! So when I do help clean, I'm a hero.
    -Just A Chemist

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  2. ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

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  3. It sounds like he is a Jack is a prime candidate for a Vet reality show. There is an Animal Planet TV show named 'My Cat From Hell' - why aren't crazy ass dogs just as interesting ? Discrimination I tell you ...

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  4. Jacks fine, he just ain't going to put up with anybody's bulkshit

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  5. Jack didn't screw up anyone's day, you did. All you had to do was tell them that Jack would be in LaLa Land when he arrived and they'd be able to get a good night's sleep tonight.

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    1. Where’s the fun in that!
      MadMarlin

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  6. Was Jack part of BLM in a past life?? Just askin! LOL

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  7. That was good for a chuckle.
    Good luck, we're all counting on.

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  8. You must know one side effect of trazodone is priapism. Look out!

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    Replies
    1. Using a drug that causes a boner but makes you too tranquil to use it is just mean.

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  9. Speed reading slammed me to a full stop a few words right after that asshole Jack. Aside from ruining everyone else's day at the veterinarian's office, I thought Jack the dog was coming along pretty well. Didn't you say he'd stopped biting you most of the time?

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  10. Yeah, he's coming along nicely with people he's familiar with - strangers, not so much. The only time he sees the girls down at the vet's office is when they're hurting him with needles, so he's not real friendly there. Matter of fact, he won't even go into the building under his own power. I have to physically pick that fucker up and carry him through the door.

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    1. I just visualized the scene involving you picking up a decidedly unfriendly hound to carry him into the vet's office. Tell me, just who was crazy enough to hold the door for you?

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    2. The last couple times the receptionist saw me fighting Jack and the door and came to my rescue, laughing her ass off. Once he's inside he's fine - until we get into the exam room. Then the the shit's on.

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  11. You will be filing an after action report won't you? Purely for information purposes of course, not for our amusement, I'm sure. ;^))

    Nemo

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  12. "I swear, that dog can fuck up somebody's day 24 hours in advance"-Jack must be related to my wife.

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  13. Ken, I'm surprised they don't offer to just drop by & vaccinate him @ your place.
    --Tennessee Budd

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    1. Honestly, I never thought to ask them. I know they'll come out to put a dog to sleep.
      If he's an asshole this time, I'll ask for them to come out next year.

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  14. Thanks, Ken. Just when my own Cujo dog nightmares were finally subsiding, it's deja vu all over again.

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  15. Oh God don’t do a house call, it’s been a few years since we had a vet out to the farm... but the show up fee was like $89.00 back then!

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  16. Maybe ask them to come out to the truck in the parking lot to vaccinate Jack?

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