#7. Supposedly you can’t ask for a master cylinder or slave cylinder at O’Reillys they get bent out of shape. Screw them, they are overpriced in a lot of stuff so I go to Rock Auto. OReillys and Vato Zone wanted $150 for a voltage regulator I could buy from an alternator repair shop for $20. Buddha
No shit. I have lived in South Texas most of my life and in the small towns, although were populated with around 80% Mexican descendants, the anglos taught them if they wanted to do business at the local stores, they had to speak English. So about a dozen years ago I move to this roaring town of 2000 people and I start noticing there are Mexicans who insist speaking Spanish, even in stores. Onw day i go into Auto Zone and they are almost insisting I speak Meskin. I haven't been back since. This town is just off I-35 between San Antonio and Laredo and then I learn it has been a lay-over area for wetbacks like forever. Yup Vato Zone is a fine name for the wetbacks. fuckem
#5 - um...have you forgotten I have spent my whole life climbing on the counters to get whatever the hell I wanted off the top shelf? I only ask you to get things off the top shelf to make you feel needed. Also, don't forget your solar plexus is at the exact height for me to throw my full body weight into the punch, so while you are bent over gasping for air I am going to finish you off. Do not piss a short woman off...just saying.
#5: I'm in a bar, talking to another electronics technician. I used the name of a tool, dykes. little 5'2 girl does her best impression of getting in my 6'0 face and tells me to never use that word again.
I do my Foghorn Leghorn impression and gave her the nickname Chicken Hawk. that shut her up.
a yankee is like a quickee, but it only takes one person
ReplyDeleteSo said Charlie Chan.
DeleteI admit I read these with my husband and howl with laughter! They are my guilty pleasure! #20 is absolute perfection LOL
ReplyDelete# 16
ReplyDelete#7. Supposedly you can’t ask for a master cylinder or slave cylinder at O’Reillys they get bent out of shape. Screw them, they are overpriced in a lot of stuff so I go to Rock Auto. OReillys and Vato Zone wanted $150 for a voltage regulator I could buy from an alternator repair shop for $20.
ReplyDeleteBuddha
Vato zone!! I'm stealing that!!
ReplyDeleteNo shit. I have lived in South Texas most of my life and in the small towns, although were populated with around 80% Mexican descendants, the anglos taught them if they wanted to do business at the local stores, they had to speak English. So about a dozen years ago I move to this roaring town of 2000 people and I start noticing there are Mexicans who insist speaking Spanish, even in stores. Onw day i go into Auto Zone and they are almost insisting I speak Meskin. I haven't been back since.
DeleteThis town is just off I-35 between San Antonio and Laredo and then I learn it has been a lay-over area for wetbacks like forever.
Yup Vato Zone is a fine name for the wetbacks. fuckem
#1 for the win.
ReplyDelete#5 - um...have you forgotten I have spent my whole life climbing on the counters to get whatever the hell I wanted off the top shelf? I only ask you to get things off the top shelf to make you feel needed. Also, don't forget your solar plexus is at the exact height for me to throw my full body weight into the punch, so while you are bent over gasping for air I am going to finish you off. Do not piss a short woman off...just saying.
ReplyDeleteMy, short folks are sure getting trying to get uppity these days.
DeleteDon't be so saucy, Béarnaise.
DeleteJust kidding. My wife is 5'0" on a tall day, but her Mrs. Tasmanian Devil personality will give anyone an altitude adjustment when provoked.
You gotta hand it to short people sometimes. Because, you know? They can't reach.
Delete#5: I'm in a bar, talking to another electronics technician. I used the name of a tool, dykes. little 5'2 girl does her best impression of getting in my 6'0 face and tells me to never use that word again.
ReplyDeleteI do my Foghorn Leghorn impression and gave her the nickname Chicken Hawk. that shut her up.
A gentleman could also respond,
Delete"I apologize. Diagonal cutting pliers...Cunt."
Hit’um with a hard T...lol
Delete#13 Don't forget about BET.
ReplyDeleteBlack Entitlement Theft? Aka smash and grab.
DeleteI used dykes just today talking to my better half. It was the way we dealt with rogue machines on first ship. Just cut the damned cord.
ReplyDeletedefiant