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Friday, November 20, 2020

Bustin' a woody

NOVEMBER 18--A “half dressed” Connecticut man who was spotted “humping trees” in a stranger’s backyard is behind bars on multiple charges, records show. 

According to a Naugatuck Police Department report, officers were dispatched Thursday afternoon to a residence on High Street after a 911 caller reported there was “an unknown male in a backyard, half dressed, humping trees, screaming, and eating branches.” 

7 comments:

  1. A Indian walks into a cat house, lays down his money and says, “me want white woman.”
    The madam takes one look at him and decides she doesn’t want him near her girls. Not wanting to start a altercation. She tells the Indian that “white women are different than Indian women.” He doesn’t have the necessary experience. The Indian ask her “how I get experience?”
    Looking for a way way out, she spots a apple tree on the hill outside with a hole in it about waist high.
    “Go up there and practice on that tree first, then we’ll talk.” She tells him.
    Disappointed, he leaves.
    After a few weeks, the man returned demanding “me want white woman.”
    This time, the madam is convinced that another refusal may cause violence, she relents.
    After a few minutes, she gets screams from upstairs. Instantly regretting her decision to let a uncivilized savage into her establishment.
    She runs upstairs, throwing open the door the see the Indian using a broom handle on the girl.
    “What are you doing, you savage?” She screams at him.
    The old chief turns to her and smiles, “me no idiot, this time check for bees”

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  2. Waist-high knotholes in trees with the sap running can be very seductive.

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  3. Must be a real sicko,hope he has some real big splinters stuck in his balls.

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  4. We've had tree sitters, tree huggers, and now tree humpers.
    What's next?

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  5. "humping trees in a stranger’s backyard"?

    When the hell did that become illegal?

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  6. Is this the fate of all tree huggers?

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