#17 Holy fuck I laughed so hard I had tears streaming down my face. Lemme tell ya, you haven't lived until you have pissed a woman off that bad. It's pretty much like Rodeo Sex. Thanks for the laughs Kenny, you crack me up on a regular basis. Merry Christmas to you and Miss Lisa.
My ex used to chatter like a pissed off cat when she got mad, then start throwing shit when I laughed at her about it. Fucking woman had no sense of humor at all.
I once told my wife she was acting like her Mother. Didn't know if she had had a stroke, developed a stutter or Tourette's kicked in. I did develop respect for that right jab.
On the fringe I cringe when the syringe goes on a binge. You're welcome. OTOH try "month" Been working on that one a while. RULE No. 1: got to be an end rhyme, no start middle or mumbo jumbo.
That's not entirely true.... Eminem. I just put the verse 2 here
You 'bout to witness hip-hop in its most purest Most rawest form, flow almost flawless Most hardest, most honest known artist Chip off the old block, but old Doc is (back) Looks like Batman brought his own Robin Oh God, Saddam's got his own Laden With his own private plane, his own pilot Set to blow college dorm room doors off the hinges Oranges, peach, pears, plums, syringes Vrinn, vrinn! Yeah, here I come, I'm inches Away from you, dear, fear none Hip-hop is in a state of 9-1-1, so
#4, I thought I was the only one who looked like that when people buy lottery tickets in front of me. I feel totally validated now. Wow, I knew I wasn't crazy all these years later.
It isn't just the buying of lottery tickets. What makes me mad as hell are those who take in a or some winning scratch-offs, get paid, then stand right there and scratch off the new ones and if they have a winner ask for payment and then buy some more. It's about that time someone in line threatens the asshole, and they might move over just a bit to let some other customer squeeze up to the counter to pay for their quart of beer.
Worse yet is being behind the guy who already bought 20 tickets, won a couple of bucks on 2 and now wants to buy some more-after getting his winners cashed in. Meanwhile, your Slurpee has melted and leaked out the seam of the cup.
#17
ReplyDeleteHoly fuck I laughed so hard I had tears streaming down my face.
Lemme tell ya, you haven't lived until you have pissed a woman off that bad.
It's pretty much like Rodeo Sex.
Thanks for the laughs Kenny, you crack me up on a regular basis.
Merry Christmas to you and Miss Lisa.
My ex used to chatter like a pissed off cat when she got mad, then start throwing shit when I laughed at her about it. Fucking woman had no sense of humor at all.
DeleteI once told my wife she was acting like her Mother. Didn't know if she had had a stroke, developed a stutter or Tourette's kicked in.
DeleteI did develop respect for that right jab.
Wanna have some real fun? When she starts talking to herself, tell her to keep it down. Things get real quiet.
DeleteOne of my favorite things to do, during a certain point in a fight, is to call my by her mother's name.
Delete"Goddamnit, Judy, knock it the fuck off!"
-rightwingterrorist
I'm betting #20 gets you banned or have they just given up trying to reform you with the ban hammer?
ReplyDeleteNemo
Nah, I posted that months ago without getting banned.
ReplyDeleteWhenever I bust out laughing looking at my phone my wife always looks at me over the top of her glasses and says, Knuckledraggin? "
ReplyDeleteSo she knows your/our juvenile sense well, then?
DeleteI refuse to grow up, just ask my wife
DeleteMine says "Is it that Kenny again"?
DeleteThx for the laffs all year and a very Merry Xmas to you & the little lady.
What is number 2 Ken??
ReplyDeleteFluffed out tampons. I used to do that and hang them off the headache rack on my forklift on Halloween.
DeleteWas that before or after you proposed to your ex?
Deletelittle red hats on those make lovely christmas tree decorations
Delete#6 was so funny I literally fell of my chair laughing. Kenny you do a great job finding these gems!
ReplyDeleteI'd have to be pretty drunk to believe that happened. Everybody knows nothing rhymes with orange. ;-)
ReplyDeleteDoor hinge...
DeleteOn the fringe I cringe when the syringe goes on a binge. You're welcome. OTOH try "month" Been working on that one a while. RULE No. 1: got to be an end rhyme, no start middle or mumbo jumbo.
DeleteThat's not entirely true.... Eminem. I just put the verse 2 here
DeleteYou 'bout to witness hip-hop in its most purest
Most rawest form, flow almost flawless
Most hardest, most honest known artist
Chip off the old block, but old Doc is (back)
Looks like Batman brought his own Robin
Oh God, Saddam's got his own Laden
With his own private plane, his own pilot
Set to blow college dorm room doors off the hinges
Oranges, peach, pears, plums, syringes
Vrinn, vrinn! Yeah, here I come, I'm inches
Away from you, dear, fear none
Hip-hop is in a state of 9-1-1, so
Yes, and orange ya glad?
Delete#4, I thought I was the only one who looked like that when people buy lottery tickets in front of me. I feel totally validated now. Wow, I knew I wasn't crazy all these years later.
ReplyDeleteIt isn't just the buying of lottery tickets. What makes me mad as hell are those who take in a or some winning scratch-offs, get paid, then stand right there and scratch off the new ones and if they have a winner ask for payment and then buy some more. It's about that time someone in line threatens the asshole, and they might move over just a bit to let some other customer squeeze up to the counter to pay for their quart of beer.
DeleteWorse yet is being behind the guy who already bought 20 tickets, won a couple of bucks on 2 and now wants to buy some more-after getting his winners cashed in. Meanwhile, your Slurpee has melted and leaked out the seam of the cup.
Delete20 made me lmfao...
ReplyDelete