Grandma was hard of hearing, and grandpa was an early riser. Every morning promptly at five he would awake, nudge grandma and give her a kiss, then sweetly ask do you want to go back to sleep or what. Grandma would invariably reply, "What?"
Vanilla extract makes for a happy baker too. I knew an old lady that was always drunk on the stuff. She would travel to different towns and buy it so locals didn't know what she was doing. A closet vanilla extractist I reckon.
If you've ever had a bad, uncontrollable cough, you know: Cough syrup with morphine derivatives in it does the trick, but good. The Chloroform was to make you sleep.
"Skillfully combined with a number of other ingredients..." Hoo Boy
And just in case the child should interupt, slip it some of oMrs Winslow's Soothing Syrup. With a little opium. Other baby soothers had alcohol. See Gripe Water. Happy families indeed.
I'll bet Grandma slept good at night, too.
ReplyDeleteCould go a long way toward explaining large families in those days.
DeleteGrandma was hard of hearing, and grandpa was an early riser. Every morning promptly at five he would awake, nudge grandma and give her a kiss, then sweetly ask do you want to go back to sleep or what.
DeleteGrandma would invariably reply, "What?"
Vanilla extract makes for a happy baker too. I knew an old lady that was always drunk on the stuff. She would travel to different towns and buy it so locals didn't know what she was doing. A closet vanilla extractist I reckon.
ReplyDeleteI once dated a woman who made her own vanilla extract. It was literally just soaking vanilla bean pods in vodka for a couple of months.
DeleteWhat were the "other ingredients"?
ReplyDeleteDa fuk Chloroform?
ReplyDeleteMight be right up there with Hydroxychloroquine in fighting the Chink flu.
ReplyDeletesay what you want about old timers, but they didnt fuxk around when it came to coughing.
ReplyDeleteWonder if that one came with a "Do Not Operate Heavy Machinery After Use" warning
ReplyDeleteYou guys DO know Coca-Cola used to have actual Cocaine as an ingredient.
ReplyDeleteIf you've ever had a bad, uncontrollable cough, you know: Cough syrup with morphine derivatives in it does the trick, but good. The Chloroform was to make you sleep.
ReplyDelete"Skillfully combined with a number of other ingredients..." Hoo Boy
And just in case the child should interupt, slip it some of oMrs Winslow's Soothing Syrup.
ReplyDeleteWith a little opium.
Other baby soothers had alcohol. See Gripe Water.
Happy families indeed.
Lort! I neeeeed some of that!
ReplyDelete