Before we were married my then girlfriend and I came back from a Christmas party where I had quite a bit do drink and I really had to go. She did too, but she said you go first, so I went to the bathroom and as I was peeing (the relief was tremendous) the the boredom set in and I started looking around and I saw the gallon jug of water for the Christmas tree sitting on the sink. So as I tapered off I took the jug and started pouring it in. Five minutes later I come out and she's absolutely dumb-struck! "My God, you really had to go!!
I know you won't believe this. There's only one witness to it and she's my ex. She made me take 2 gas-x pills before bed b/c we ate beans and I LOVED to let the gas loose in the bed. About 4 am I get up & feel the urge to back out a deuce. I goto the can and I kid you not I farted for about 30 minutes. It was minute 15 that she angrily got up and shouted through the bathroom door, "Quit making fart noises with your hands, noone can fart for 15 minutes." She opened the door and looked at me in mid fart. I scrunched down harder while looking into her eyes and the pitch of the current 10 minute long fart just got louder. Her mouth hit the floor and she speechlessly went back to bed. I came out about 15 mins later and she said, "Don't touch me. Ever." To this day noone believes either of us.
Before we were married my then girlfriend and I came back from a Christmas party where I had quite a bit do drink and I really had to go. She did too, but she said you go first, so I went to the bathroom and as I was peeing (the relief was tremendous) the the boredom set in and I started looking around and I saw the gallon jug of water for the Christmas tree sitting on the sink. So as I tapered off I took the jug and started pouring it in. Five minutes later I come out and she's absolutely dumb-struck! "My God, you really had to go!!
ReplyDeleteWould never have worked with my wife, she likes to hold it.
Delete🤣😂🙂🤣🤣😂
ReplyDeleteI know you won't believe this. There's only one witness to it and she's my ex. She made me take 2 gas-x pills before bed b/c we ate beans and I LOVED to let the gas loose in the bed. About 4 am I get up & feel the urge to back out a deuce. I goto the can and I kid you not I farted for about 30 minutes. It was minute 15 that she angrily got up and shouted through the bathroom door, "Quit making fart noises with your hands, noone can fart for 15 minutes." She opened the door and looked at me in mid fart. I scrunched down harder while looking into her eyes and the pitch of the current 10 minute long fart just got louder. Her mouth hit the floor and she speechlessly went back to bed. I came out about 15 mins later and she said, "Don't touch me. Ever." To this day noone believes either of us.
ReplyDeleteI laughed my ass off .
DeleteThank you.
DeleteI once tooted the star spangled banner in the locker-room....made me late into the pool for phys-ed
DeleteARE YOU O.K. ?
ReplyDeleteNot once did she peek around the door jam !
Is she his sister ?
This is SOOOO funny. How do I copy the clip?
ReplyDeletehttps://izismile.com/2021/03/12/are_you_okay_video.html
DeleteStart the video. Once it starts playing a download button will appear below it. Click that.
I suspect that the guy with the Gatorade jug won't be getting to touch his lady that night either. I bet she was " pissed."
ReplyDeleteMercy, hep me lawd. I couldn't breathe I was laughing so hard.
ReplyDelete