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Monday, April 12, 2021

Your Monday Morning Florida Report

APRIL 3--A man arrested for masturbating while parked outside a Publix supermarket told Florida cops that he opted for the public pleasure session since he “did not wish to do it at home because he did not want to get caught,” according to a criminal complaint.

3 comments:

  1. He'll claim it's a side effect of the Covid vaccine shot he just got inside the Publix.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Well, Publix does run their BOGO (Beat Off, Get Off) specials on a weekly basis. This week was "You Can't Beat Our Meat, But You Can Beat Yours" as a bone-us.

    ReplyDelete

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