I used to ask people "do you know what it feels like when you have to pee real bad". When they answered "yes" I would ask them to feel me and see if I had to.
I found if you slip a "tipped" Trojan on after shaking it your skivvys will stay dry for a while. Don't worry if the rubber ain't "ribbed" unless of course you're headed from the bathroom to the bedroom and honey's ready for some lovin'.
I laugh at other's misfortune everyday. Once I got growed up, I learned to not do it to their face so much. Except for when I was at work in the foundry. There, all bets were off.
I would have picked plain yogurt. The bacteria culture means it's still technically alive, but not good for much and it leaves a bad taste in your mouth
#11 - Ooof... getting old sucks balls. Pro tip: Buy more underwear. #19- ahhh..haaaa.. I can't tell you how many friends I have that deeply regretted letting someone, who doesn't know how, ride their bike. Usually, they do a peewee herman, rocket across a parking lot and hit a tree or a parked car. Hell, I got a free wrecked bike and parts bike because my brother-in-law let his dopey friend take the bike for a spin. He got to the end or the driveway - 50 feet? Hit a pole. Then, he himself wrecked his second bike and my sister told him to get rid of the lot. His loss, my gain.
I had a helper from England once, who, when talking cars and bikes, told me I had no idea how precious they were to british dudes. He said he'd sooner lend out his wife.
There are obviously people out there cranking out memes who can't spell or manage passable grammar. Many of the 'Ebonics' ones, especially, aren't even grammatically correct for that dialect.
Of course. Especially the political ones mocking liberals or stuff like that. I'm thinking, "You know, you're not exactly demonstrating your superiority when you don't fucking know how to use an apostrophe." And that's a shame because some of those are otherwise hilarious.
The Ebonics ones I can't figure out. I think some are ironic where the person is TRYING to sound stupid, and others are people trying to "talk tough" by sounding like a ghetto negro. Ghetto negro speech always sounds slightly hysterical to me. Like some huge fat woman having a meltdown. Hard and dangerous men don't talk or act that way. The scariest people I've ever met, when things get serious they speak in a dead calm, quiet voice.
#4 I used to do a fair bit of distance running and used to see a lot of older and middle aged women who looked like teens or early twenties from behind.
At my age, I consider someone my age hooking up with a 30 year old a pedo. A "young woman" is about 50. Only thing I can do anyway is write my name in the dirt. We don't have any snow here. Far as that #11.... I cannot remember anything different. Isn't that the normal?????
7) I think that one on the right is past its expiration date.
ReplyDeleteAnd like sour milk, that stupid whispering fucker makes me want to puke.
Delete#11 a little too close to home WC!
ReplyDeleteI feel ya.
DeleteI used to ask people "do you know what it feels like when you have to pee real bad". When they answered "yes" I would ask them to feel me and see if I had to.
DeleteI found if you slip a "tipped" Trojan on after shaking it your skivvys will stay dry for a while. Don't worry if the rubber ain't "ribbed" unless of course you're headed from the bathroom to the bedroom and honey's ready for some lovin'.
DeleteGo to a doctor and get a prescription for tamulosin (brand name Flomax). It will help you void all the way.
Deletehttps://www.drugs.com/tamsulosin.html
What's the matter with me... #18 was so cruelly funny that I'm still sitting here laughing!! Thanks, Kenny!! "Yinzer"
ReplyDeleteI ask myself that same question every day.
DeleteI laugh at other's misfortune everyday. Once I got growed up, I learned to not do it to their face so much. Except for when I was at work in the foundry. There, all bets were off.
Delete#7. The third one is 1/2 percent and it's spoiled.
ReplyDeleteI would have picked plain yogurt. The bacteria culture means it's still technically alive, but not good for much and it leaves a bad taste in your mouth
DeleteWhat's Jennifer Wortman's problem? That's your name isn't it?
ReplyDelete#1 Well, it was your decision to keep your own name after getting married.
ReplyDeleteAlso, keeps the ex-wife's and the future ex-wife easy to find or avoid.
[rocketride]
DeleteNot to mention previous ones.
#11 - Ooof... getting old sucks balls. Pro tip: Buy more underwear.
ReplyDelete#19- ahhh..haaaa.. I can't tell you how many friends I have that deeply regretted letting someone, who doesn't know how, ride their bike. Usually, they do a peewee herman, rocket across a parking lot and hit a tree or a parked car. Hell, I got a free wrecked bike and parts bike because my brother-in-law let his dopey friend take the bike for a spin. He got to the end or the driveway - 50 feet? Hit a pole. Then, he himself wrecked his second bike and my sister told him to get rid of the lot. His loss, my gain.
I had a helper from England once, who, when talking cars and bikes, told me I had no idea how precious they were to british dudes. He said he'd sooner lend out his wife.
A good friend will let you ride his bike if asked...but a good friend would never ask.
DeleteYou are right never let anybody ride your bike!!!grayman
DeleteRe #11, this is why all my pants and shorts are black.
Delete#11 We call that engine run on.
ReplyDelete#17 There's a live bait joke there somewhere....
ReplyDelete#20 - Does anyone else have problems with memes when the grammar and punctuation is just fucking screwed up or totally Ebonics?
ReplyDeleteYeah, me. How fucking hard is it to preview your new meme before hitting 'publish'?
Delete[rocketride]
DeleteThere are obviously people out there cranking out memes who can't spell or manage passable grammar. Many of the 'Ebonics' ones, especially, aren't even grammatically correct for that dialect.
Of course. Especially the political ones mocking liberals or stuff like that. I'm thinking, "You know, you're not exactly demonstrating your superiority when you don't fucking know how to use an apostrophe." And that's a shame because some of those are otherwise hilarious.
DeleteThe Ebonics ones I can't figure out. I think some are ironic where the person is TRYING to sound stupid, and others are people trying to "talk tough" by sounding like a ghetto negro. Ghetto negro speech always sounds slightly hysterical to me. Like some huge fat woman having a meltdown. Hard and dangerous men don't talk or act that way. The scariest people I've ever met, when things get serious they speak in a dead calm, quiet voice.
#4 I used to do a fair bit of distance running and used to see a lot of older and middle aged women who looked like teens or early twenties from behind.
ReplyDeleteAt my age, I consider someone my age hooking up with a 30 year old a pedo. A "young woman" is about 50. Only thing I can do anyway is write my name in the dirt. We don't have any snow here. Far as that #11.... I cannot remember anything different. Isn't that the normal?????
Delete#15 also needs a window.
ReplyDelete