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Sunday, July 18, 2021

The shit I post on Facebook

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14 comments:

  1. #9: I used to install cable TV cable at existing homes using a "plow" style trencher that dug the TV cable in about 6-8". Miss Utility had mis-marked a major telephone trunk line going into the community and we dug through the cable - it was about 2 or 3x this size. These were dial-up days and the second we blew through the phone trunk, people started coming outside... Luckily, you could see the marked area was NOT where we were trenching and there was no paint around the phone cable location, but it was still quite a fucking melee.
    Ed

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah, been there. So much for 'call before you dig' huh?

      Delete
  2. #6: pretty sure “hungry” is not a problem for the new XXL Victoria’s Secret models.

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    Replies
    1. Take a cheeseburger from a fat girl...see how far that gets you.

      Delete
  3. #16 - Just like taking Viagra. BTDT - once.

    ReplyDelete
  4. #4 Hell, sixty miles at least!

    The speedometer always reads three miles higher too!

    ReplyDelete
  5. #16. It seems that every time I had an erection, my ex had a migraine.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Mine as well so I would take her 2 Tylenol and 2 Ibuprofen told her I would be back in 20 minutes!

      Delete
  6. #8 funny also a great idea.

    ReplyDelete
  7. I ran an excavator (private contractor) on a military base and had not only this result but managed to dig up the power, water, and natural gas lines also. THEIR LOCATES!! All of these utilities were within inches of each other. The power messed with my head as it arc'd. The nat gas, I shut'er down and ran until I got to the CO office. Told him to call nat gas company ASAP. Good thing I dug the power first because it arc'd bigly. What a fucking mess.

    ReplyDelete
  8. 4) I have to admit that I am the "I can drive 10 more miles type" but my wife grew up way way out in the country and less than half a tank starts to legitimately freaks her out. I've figured out she's right and now I keep the cars full. Me and both the sons have learned that if you want to get yelled at around here just let a car get to a 1/4 tank of gas.

    8) I wrote a will that has my chile recipe and then says other than that if you're reading this I don't care what happens to my stuff and I expect my sons to settle it like brothers.

    17) This is the fundamental truth of life. I would like to cite as an example Mr. Willie Nelson who is currently out on tour. The man has never felt stress in his life. Ever.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. (4) If you refill at a quarter tank, you get to decide where and when you gas up. Go any further than than that and it will be the gas station at the intersection of MLK and Malcolm X Blvds after dark>

      I cannot make my ex understand this concept.

      Delete

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