My grandma milked thirteen cows a day. Number13 is a real thing. She wore rubber boots, jeans tucked in them. I put hay in the trough after she had them in the stanchions. One day, as she, as she always did, was leaning against the wall to be as far from the threat of being kicked because they were not hobbled yet, she went behind a cow that had the squirts. It did not raise its tail. It just put a kink in it,clearing the Muzzle and PINNED her against the wall with a column of green shit. Yeah, that was my beloved Gramma, but being about four years old it was WAY too funny to not laugh at. She, being the lady she was did not say anything,nor did she laugh when I decided I would ride the calf and landed in the cow patty.
And back then a bath started with a trip to the windmill and ended with a tub in the kitchen.
#5) reminds me of find the chipmunk. Back in my early days when I finally got ahold of a 12ga there was a chipmunk that kept getting into the house and stealing lots of dog food. One day I saw it in the house so I ran and grabbed the shotgun and headed outside to where it ran beforehand. There it was sitting on the splitting block in front of the woodpile sitting perfectly still. All that was in the gun was a low base cheap clay target load but it was at 15 feet and centered the pattern well. Then it was instant chipmunk aerosol spray on the pile. The coat was a lot thinner than the train got. I took a picture and it is more subtle but still visible if you take a 2nd look. I'll have to see if I can find it.
#11, my shop had a temp kid, who told them that he was a recovering alcoholic. He rode his bike to work, every night, he needed the job, and wanted to get hired full time. They had no intention of hiring him. His last day, the foreman made him climb inside of a huge ladle, with a shovel, and dig out all of the powdered slag, took 6 hours. The nastiest job that there was. Just before the kid left that morning, the boss told him, it was his last day, that they would not hire him, because of his background of alcoholism. He had a pregnant wife, and really needed the job, and no longer drank. We were all pissed at the company, but were non union, and at will employees. The company was known for firing even long time workers, who crossed them. Trust me, I know, they fired me after 35 plus years, saying that I tested positive for alcohol in my random drug test. When I had been at work for 7 hours. And didn't drink.
They can fire you anytime they want. I worked for five daily newspapers in Texas, got fired by three. I was right every time in what I did. What I learned was: Right has a price. Always has, always will.
Which is why you have to immediately challenge those with a lawyer, while the evidence is still hot. Letting them get away with shit is how we all got here.
People cling to their comfort at the expense of their children's future. Kids are not going to remember how good your furniture, car, house was. They are going to remember if they were loved and they are going to examine the present that was bequeathed to them.
Funniest thing that ever happened to me job-wise was when I got fired from this company run by a family of E. Europeans. They thought they would screw me out of my last paycheck, which was their standard operating procedure. When I came back to the office to collect, I brought a lawyer lady I was dating and she laid it on 'em and their bullshit. Got my pay.
They were all good, but #12 had me laughing the hardest. That's the kind of recommendation you see before "....Follow me on my blog for more good ideas."
#16 wins. I laughed so hard that the rest of the crew thought I was having a stroke.
ReplyDelete#5 Splat! Nemo
ReplyDeleteOkay ... where's the deer?
ReplyDeleteAll over the front of the train.
Delete...all over the windshield.
DeleteMy grandma milked thirteen cows a day. Number13 is a real thing. She wore rubber boots, jeans tucked in them. I put hay in the trough after she had them in the stanchions. One day, as she, as she always did, was leaning against the wall to be as far from the threat of being kicked because they were not hobbled yet, she went behind a cow that had the squirts. It did not raise its tail. It just put a kink in it,clearing the Muzzle and PINNED her against the wall with a column of green shit. Yeah, that was my beloved Gramma, but being about four years old it was WAY too funny to not laugh at.
ReplyDeleteShe, being the lady she was did not say anything,nor did she laugh when I decided I would ride the calf and landed in the cow patty.
And back then a bath started with a trip to the windmill and ended with a tub in the kitchen.
Brilliant.
ReplyDeleteAll of them.
Watch me how I steal them.
#5) reminds me of find the chipmunk. Back in my early days when I finally got ahold of a 12ga there was a chipmunk that kept getting into the house and stealing lots of dog food. One day I saw it in the house so I ran and grabbed the shotgun and headed outside to where it ran beforehand. There it was sitting on the splitting block in front of the woodpile sitting perfectly still. All that was in the gun was a low base cheap clay target load but it was at 15 feet and centered the pattern well. Then it was instant chipmunk aerosol spray on the pile. The coat was a lot thinner than the train got. I took a picture and it is more subtle but still visible if you take a 2nd look. I'll have to see if I can find it.
ReplyDelete#11, my shop had a temp kid, who told them that he was a recovering alcoholic. He rode his bike to work, every night, he needed the job, and wanted to get hired full time.
ReplyDeleteThey had no intention of hiring him. His last day, the foreman made him climb inside of a huge ladle, with a shovel, and dig out all of the powdered slag, took 6 hours. The nastiest job that there was. Just before the kid left that morning, the boss told him, it was his last day, that they would not hire him, because of his background of alcoholism. He had a pregnant wife, and really needed the job, and no longer drank. We were all pissed at the company, but were non union, and at will employees. The company was known for firing even long time workers, who crossed them.
Trust me, I know, they fired me after 35 plus years, saying that I tested positive for alcohol in my random drug test. When I had been at work for 7 hours. And didn't drink.
They can fire you anytime they want. I worked for five daily newspapers in Texas, got fired by three. I was right every time in what I did. What I learned was: Right has a price. Always has, always will.
DeleteYeah, but if they say it's because of a failed drug test, it's for cause, which makes it harder to get any separation pay, unemployment, etc..
DeleteWhich is why you have to immediately challenge those with a lawyer, while the evidence is still hot. Letting them get away with shit is how we all got here.
DeletePeople cling to their comfort at the expense of their children's future. Kids are not going to remember how good your furniture, car, house was. They are going to remember if they were loved and they are going to examine the present that was bequeathed to them.
Funniest thing that ever happened to me job-wise was when I got fired from this company run by a family of E. Europeans. They thought they would screw me out of my last paycheck, which was their standard operating procedure. When I came back to the office to collect, I brought a lawyer lady I was dating and she laid it on 'em and their bullshit.
DeleteGot my pay.
They were all good, but #12 had me laughing the hardest. That's the kind of recommendation you see before "....Follow me on my blog for more good ideas."
ReplyDelete