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Wednesday, August 18, 2021

The shit I post(ed) on Facebook

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31 comments:

  1. #2....is it a "man bun"... or a saddle horn for your boy friend???

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Aka Twat Knot......Bitch Biscuit.....

      Delete
  2. #8 When I lived in Hawaii I had two teachers from the Boston area in the apartment next door. I was cooking a steak out on the grill when the blonde comes over and says "Do you have a pen I can borrow?" Sure, sez I and I go inside to get a pen. I come out to hand her the pen, "No! A pen, a pen! I'm cooking spagetti!. Took me a minute...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Taking me longer than a minute as I have no idea what word she was actually saying? What is a "A Pen" for spaghetti?

      Delete
    2. Yeah, I agree 100%. Poor story.

      Delete
    3. peter pen and tinkerbell

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    4. A pan.

      Fairplayjeepguy

      Delete
    5. Straight pin or safety pin?
      No, I ont a ballpoint pin.

      John in Indy

      Delete
    6. ROTFLMO....only took me 10x reading

      Delete
    7. Whooohooo, I wasn’t the dumbass on this one! Knuckledraggin University giving me my monies worth.
      MadMarlin

      Delete
    8. 'Pen' is another word for 'pasta'.

      Now you kow

      Delete
    9. She probably said "Ken".
      As in
      Do you hev a pen I Ken borrow?

      Delete
  3. The first one is just too much!

    ReplyDelete
  4. I have a bald spot at the back of my head. If I grow out the hair around it an fashion a bun out of it to cover the bald spot, does it still count as a man bun, or is it a combover?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Too complicated. Take the easy path Math. Get a brown robe and pretend you're Friar tuck.

      Delete
    2. Dude, either way, just don’t

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    3. Shave the noggin and keep it oiled with sunscreen.

      Delete
    4. I have been bald since I was around 18. During my high school years, the lady who cut my hair and my brother's hair had to use special scissors called thinning shears, to thin our hair, it was too thick. Not kidding, she could hardly cut it unless she thinned it in some areas.
      After I hit around 30 or so, I have been able to cut my own hair. Depending on how much work I want to do, I can use my Wahl clippers and then my razor and shaving cream just like on my face.
      The bitch of it is, now I grow more hair in my ears than I do on my head. And random hairs sprout out of my eye brows, only spotting them after they are about 3 inches long. I used to see old men in barber shops like this, when I was around 8 or 9. Never did understand why the barber would cut the hair inside of the old man's ears or inside of his nose. Now I get it.

      Delete
    5. I've had shoulder-length hair for most of my adult life.
      I'm blessed to still have it all at 65, but when it starts looking like moths have gotten to it, crewcut time.

      Delete
  5. #2 maybe one. I knew a guy with long hair. He worked in a restaurant. When he was there, he had his hair in a bun under a hat. It was kind of the law.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. 12 inches of mullet laying in a puddle of tranny fluid under the truck while you're trying to slide the shaft back into the back of the block.
      ps clothes washing powder cleans it all out quite quickly, stings the scalp but it works.

      Delete
  6. #15--not ever. Not even once. Who the fuck has to do that? Trannies? Joe Biden?
    --Tennessee Budd

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Usually only have to mumble it to myself when I'm working in a blind spot by feel. Left handed.

      Delete
    2. The thing that freaks me out is that, when working blind and backwards my brain will glitch if I think about which way to turn. Stop thinking and put my hand on the bolt, then suddenly I know.

      Delete
    3. Instinct for me. I never heard the phrase until I was well into being an adult.
      Daryl

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    4. So, it's about which direction to turn nuts and screws. I didn't get it at first and my dirty old mind went to some interesting places trying to work it out. I don't have a problem knowing which way to turn them either.

      Delete
  7. Now be fair a man bun is fine if you happen to Toshiro Mifune or an actual Samurai

    ReplyDelete
  8. #8 - God I'm slow...I wondered off and came back...the voice in my head, in my best imitation of JFK, said 'car keys' and now I get it. Pay no attention to the slow kid in the back of the room, chuckling.

    ReplyDelete
  9. #4 - I'm not going crazy. I'm already there.

    ReplyDelete
  10. #15 sure, to newbies, dumbasses, and of course anyone born after 1980

    ReplyDelete

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