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Wednesday, December 08, 2021

My arsenal hurts, Doc

Army bomb squad technicians were sent to a hospital after a man arrived in casualty with a WWII anti-tank shell lodged into his rectum. 

Medics called for specialist support after the man presented in the Accident and Emergency unit of Gloucestershire Royal Hospital in Gloucester when he could not remove the 57mm shell.

*****

I gotta say, as much as I've drank in my life I've tripped and fell more times than I can count, yet I've never ever had anything shoved up my ass as a result.

19 comments:

  1. Where I worked, removing a light bulb intact without surgery was considered to be an indication of supreme skill and talent. Just another one of those "accidents", I assume.

    Was the patient with the shell named "Goatsie", by any chance?

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  2. I guess he can now say he is an avid collector. He can say he has WWII Memorabilia up da ass.

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  3. just when you think shit can't get anymore weird, this happens ?

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  4. We took out a 20mm antiaircraft round a few years ago. Had the bomb squad there and everything.

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  5. After action report: "57mm shell Rectum,? Hell. Damn near killed him"!

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    1. I remember that as a little Johnny joke. Thanks for the memory. I'd forgotten that one.

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  6. Probably not quite a purple heart, but I'm sure he got a purple asshole.

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  7. I've worked in Emergency Departments as an EMT. I can assure you that every single Emergency Department in the entire world has seen something like this. And it's always, "I slipped and fell on it", or "It was on the chair and I didn't see it when I sat down".

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  8. We used to have a drawer full of the oddments we extracted from people's backsides. Until some dense and humorless suit decided it was a bad thing. To a person, every patient said they 'fell on it.'

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  9. "a man arrived in casualty with a WWII anti-tank shell lodged into his rectum"

    That's what happens when you let gays into the military.

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  10. Just trying to imagine the damage that would have occurred had he worked at Ft. Sill! Oh my....

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  11. For the morbidly interested, go to

    www.pubmed.gov

    and enter "rectal foreign body" as the search term. This will generate a list of scientific papers and case reports of people putting stuff up their butts and then having to go to hospital.

    And yes, almost everyone "just slipped and fell on it." An ER doc buddy of mine tells me that in his 10 years experience (at the time) of working in a "nice" hospital in Chicago, that he only had one patient who did NOT claim slip-N-fall. So the ambulance brought in a guy on a gurney, face down. The guy had a sheet over him, but it stuck up about two feet over his ass, like a tent. EMTs said that when they got to the apartment (a very nice one in the Gold Coast neighborhood), the patient had a curtain rod stuck up his ass. (It was really the finial -- endcap -- that got stuck. It was in the shape of a seashell or some nature shit like that.) They couldn't get it out, so they cut the curtain rod off with a couple feet to spare, and brought the guy in.

    The patient looked up at my buddy and said, "Doctor. I'm not even going to try and explain. All I will say is that this was no accident. Please help me."

    That guy got a LOT more respect in the ER than usual because he was honest about it.

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  12. I've looked up the shell and "it is" very possible to fall on that and have it go up....
    I'm inclined to believe that it 'was' an accident in this case.

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  13. "I tell you doc, it was a million in one shot."

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  14. Go drinking with Jussie and see what happens. Just saying.

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  15. about the most sick thing I ever saw was a rotten off bedpost up some guys ass. yea, he went to the OR to get it out too. story was he was moving his bed from one floor to another and tripped and it went up there. my co-worker asked how hard was it to change his pants afterwards ? as his pants where intact at the time.
    the doc "saved" it in a plastic bag to show the staff after it was removed too.
    "IT' was quite big and the end was rotten away, like water damaged wood.
    yes, big east coast city hospital too. strange is everywhere.

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  16. To quote District Attorney Hedley Lamarr: "Kinky."

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