Actually yes. The first time I flew commercial was in 1981 at age 19, returning to Kommiecticut from Ft. Gordon, GA in my tan khakis. I was a trim handsome devil.
Unfortunately there are lots of assholes with money who can afford business class. One trip back from SoCal I was on the dreaded red-eye from LAX to BOS. Somehow I got bumped up to the "comfort plus" section, seat 7A I think. In 7C there was a morbidly obese white dude, probably 400 lbs. 7B was empty and I was all happy there was going to be an empty seat next to me. Nope. Literally the last minute before they buttoned up the plane a black guy around 30-yo gets on. Red hoody, black-and-red sweat pants, thousand-dollar sneakers, big headphones and lots of gold jewelry. Guy gets into 7B and promptly does the spread-leg thing, trying to push me into the wall. I push his leg back into his own space. Guy does it again. I push him back and shove his left arm off of the armrest between us for good measure. He then deigns to take official notice of me and looks at me directly with a glare. I look back at him with a completely dead expressionless face for about two seconds and then turned away and pretended to go to sleep. He stayed in his own space the remainder of the flight (to my surprise).
I would have been sympathetic to his plight (being next to some gigantic lardass who was spilling into his space) and given him some more room if he'd been polite about it and ASKED. But not if you behave like an asshole. BTW this was extremely atypical behavior for me. Usually I try like hell to avoid people in hoodies with "bling" and minimize any possible interaction. But that wasn't a real tough guy. It was probably some "creative" in the music or TV business who got by pretending to be all ghetto.
"Remember when one dressed up nicely to fly?" Yes I do, it was June of 69. After that time it was preceded by a gate announcement "attention Kmart Shoppers, Greyhound bus peeple, and Star Trek freaks, we are now boarding all barnyard class at this time."
If one had the foresight, smear some Ben Gay or urethane on those feet. The Ben Gay is self explanatory; as for the urethane, not only does it warm up REAL NICE when curing, it is almost impossible to remove.
that would really piss me off. Where is my something sharp?
ReplyDeleteAgreed. I always keep a sharpened pencil in my carry on bag. One jab to the bottom of his sole would fix that problem.
DeleteA cup of hot coffee and "Turbulence" unfucks this problem.
DeleteRemember when it was a privilege to fly? Remember when one dressed up nicely to fly? Pepperidge Farm remembers.
ReplyDeleteActually yes. The first time I flew commercial was in 1981 at age 19, returning to Kommiecticut from Ft. Gordon, GA in my tan khakis. I was a trim handsome devil.
DeleteAirlines should put a cage in back for these kind of people. Start a whole new class, you know first class, business class or cage class
ReplyDeleteDaryl
Steerage class on an airliner, where you could hang out with the landing gear.
DeleteFuk it, put them in the cargo hold. Someone gets out of hand, just open a hatch and wave the plane.
DeleteMadMarlin
There’s already a cage class: Spirit and Frontier are merging.
DeleteUnfortunately there are lots of assholes with money who can afford business class. One trip back from SoCal I was on the dreaded red-eye from LAX to BOS. Somehow I got bumped up to the "comfort plus" section, seat 7A I think. In 7C there was a morbidly obese white dude, probably 400 lbs. 7B was empty and I was all happy there was going to be an empty seat next to me. Nope. Literally the last minute before they buttoned up the plane a black guy around 30-yo gets on. Red hoody, black-and-red sweat pants, thousand-dollar sneakers, big headphones and lots of gold jewelry. Guy gets into 7B and promptly does the spread-leg thing, trying to push me into the wall. I push his leg back into his own space. Guy does it again. I push him back and shove his left arm off of the armrest between us for good measure. He then deigns to take official notice of me and looks at me directly with a glare. I look back at him with a completely dead expressionless face for about two seconds and then turned away and pretended to go to sleep. He stayed in his own space the remainder of the flight (to my surprise).
DeleteI would have been sympathetic to his plight (being next to some gigantic lardass who was spilling into his space) and given him some more room if he'd been polite about it and ASKED. But not if you behave like an asshole. BTW this was extremely atypical behavior for me. Usually I try like hell to avoid people in hoodies with "bling" and minimize any possible interaction. But that wasn't a real tough guy. It was probably some "creative" in the music or TV business who got by pretending to be all ghetto.
I wouldn’t put up with that shit for a minute..
ReplyDeleteOh, A tube of super glue for my Kingdom. Applied gently as to not disturb.
ReplyDelete"Remember when one dressed up nicely to fly?" Yes I do, it was June of 69. After that time it was preceded by a gate announcement "attention Kmart Shoppers, Greyhound bus peeple, and Star Trek freaks, we are now boarding all barnyard class at this time."
ReplyDeleteI fly 2 to 3 times a month. You should see how people 'dress' on Friday afternoons heading out on a weekend trip. Or the lack of clothing.
ReplyDeleteBut is he wearing his mask?
ReplyDeleteIf one had the foresight, smear some Ben Gay or urethane on those feet.
ReplyDeleteThe Ben Gay is self explanatory; as for the urethane, not only does it warm up REAL NICE when curing, it is almost impossible to remove.
.....or a simple zip tie to connect both big toes together.
ReplyDeleteSee... TSA confiscates bic lighters, pocket knives, cigarettes, ice picks and people forget their manners.
ReplyDelete