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Monday, April 04, 2022

Fucked around and found out

AKRON, Ohio — An Ohio man told police he shot a teenager multiple times after the 16-year-old broke into his home in Akron early Tuesday.

12 comments:

  1. ". . . I pumped two into him there. He went down the steps that way and I got him a third time, I hope.”

    Mr. Lowgher should shut up.

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    1. "Mr. Lowgher should shut up."

      Words to live by.

      Hello 911? My name is Mr. Lowgher. Someone broke into my house. I shot them to stop them from doing me and mine harm. Please send an ambulance (because I want them to live, I had zero intention of making them deceased, I really am a good guy). If they live, I want them prosecuted to the full extent of the law (see, I'm law abiding and want the legal system to do its thing).

      At this point, make sure that you've put your gun down -- away from you -- in a safe place. The cops are coming to a "shots fired" situation and if you're carrying a firearm, they'll assume you're a fair target.

      Never post "Protected by 1911" or similar placards around your property. Doing so shows premeditation.

      When the cops show up -- point out that you have an over abundance of adrenaline in your system (most likely true) and that you will gladly talk to the officials the next day (after you've contacted your lawyer and have them present).

      I am not a lawyer; talking to one before hand about your local and state statues and prevailing attitude is a good idea. Calling a lawyer after 911 is probably prudant.

      Delete
    2. And make certain you HANG UP the phone.

      And watch for fukers lurking and recording. ASSUME you're being recorded anyway.

      Yes, right before popo arrives/gets out of car - put it down, hands up HIGH, fingers splayed, on yer knees.

      Then "omg, he was going to kill me" babbling can't talk about it right now.

      Get an attorney regardless.

      Delete
  2. Too bad the cops didn't let him bleed out. Would a been a service to the community. I get it, they have to call the ambulance but they sure as hell don't have to do it quickly. They can also apply pressure to the non-threating wound. Whoops!

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  3. Anymore one should dump the entire mag into a perp like this, not just 2 or 3. Be sure. If they survive the judge will let them out on no bail and they'll return.

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    1. Prosecutor: "Please tell the court how you can possibly justify shooting the poor, unsuspecting, aspiring rapper home invader 10 times."

      Me: "I'm sorry. He had a knife. I was in mortal danger. I fumbled the reload."

      Delete
  4. In 3, 2, 1...my son was good boy. He was going to go to college to become a doctor.

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    Replies
    1. It usually goes he was becoming a rapper,
      JD

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    2. Dindu Nuffin, a local aspiring rapper, was brutally attacked after entering an elderly white man's home when he went there to discuss his reparations, which he planned to use to fund his career and hopefully divide the rest among 3 of his 5 baby mama's. Mr Nuffin was told his reparations were in the basement when the deranged home owner and veteran attacked him without provocation. Dindu's father was unavailable for comment, he was last seen 20 years ago leaving the home for a pack of Newports, which he needed to assist him in 'cooling out from whipping my old ladies ass'.

      Delete
  5. Premier QB on the local HS team.

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  6. Feel good story of the day. Too bad the kid won't be a teenager for eternity.

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  7. One of the problems in America today is that kids just aren't taught to respect their elders. Old people can't fight you, so they'll just shoot you.

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