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Thursday, April 21, 2022

Your Thursday Morning Florida Report

FARGO, N.D. – A Florida man linked to dozens of motorized golf cart thefts in the Upper Midwest was sentenced Tuesday to two years in federal prison.

5 comments:

  1. The guy’s from Apollo Beach? I would have thought The Villages; they’re golf cart crazy there.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Federal Offense?
    For stealing carts?
    .
    Eugene, Oregon.
    The acreage next to our farm is infested with goofballs in warehouse-pallet hovels covered in blue plastic tarps.
    They probably have two dozen carts... off to Leavenworth with them!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It's Federal because State lines were crossed in the commission of the crime.

      Delete
    2. The states should be able to flip a coin to determine who gets which half.

      Delete
    3. Of course.
      I expected the federal BureauOfJustifyingOurExistence to claim jurisdiction to justify their existence.
      .
      re -- the goofballs around here
      a -- Although certainly ambitious -- hence, the mountains of trash they collect -- they lack the focus to notice lines on a map.
      b -- LawEnforcementOfficials see them and their crimes as inconsequential.
      A is$250 shopping-cart theft is beneath them.
      .
      They refused to respond my call about a stolen battery-operated handicap shopping-cart.
      After their camp accumulated too much sewage for them and they abandoned it, we looked through the piles of junk.
      I saw parts of that battery-operated handicap cart.
      .
      Last couple years, complaints must be filed by e-mail, the government agents at the cop-shop are too busy negotiating their benefits package and calculating their retirements to lower themselves to talk to the little people.
      .
      .
      Moral of the story:
      * We are on our own.
      After America is gone, the whole shootin' match is up for grabs.

      Delete

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