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Friday, May 27, 2022

Hey, we've all got secrets

Married people never keep secrets from each other. Except when they totally do.

Couples in committed relationships are well aware that privacy is hard to come by, especially when they’re cohabitating. Virtually nothing is a secret — and that includes ATM numbers, phone passcodes, and even the TV shows they’ve been streaming while the other is asleep.

It’s no wonder, then, that lots of people in otherwise fulfilling relationships seek a little bit of privacy for a personal hobby or guilty pleasure, if only for a few moments each week.

How do we know this? Well, thousands of these people have recently spilled their secrets in a Reddit thread that posed the following question: “What’s a guilty pleasure you hide from your significant other?”

*****

Sitting here thinking on it, I don't believe I keep any secrets from Lisa. That's one of the things I love about her so much - I don't have to wear two different hats with her. I can act the same way with her as I do my roughest or nicest friends.

With my first wife though, it was nothing but secrets. I didn't tell her shit about anything I was up to. I learned my lesson early on that.
The one secret I'm proudest of though, was one of the smallest things: I chewed Copenhagen the entire time we were married and she never knew until right up before we got divorced. It was actually pretty easy. I practice what I preach - swallow, don't spit - so I've never used a spit can. When I was home I just kept my can of dip in my reloading room and not on my person, so she never saw the outline of the can in my pockets. And I didn't chew huge loads at a time when I was home so my lower lip was never bulging out, nor did I have that shit in my bottom teeth.
She never found out until she was going through receipts in my truck, probably looking for anything at all she could use against me in the divorce like motel room receipts, and she ran across an itemized store receipt that listed a roll of Copenhagen.
I don't know what made her madder, her realizing she didn't know that entire time or me laughing at her because she never figured it out. Shit, I still laugh about it.

15 comments:

  1. I don't have secrets but if someone wants to confide in me and asks me to tell no one, and I agree to that, I don't tell anyone, period. I figure my wife would do the same.

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  2. You're a remarkable guy, Ken. There aren't many men that are completely honest with their wives about all their firearms purchases.

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    Replies
    1. She's good with my guns & ammo purchases as long as the bills get paid. It works both ways though - if she wants something, she can buy it.

      Delete
  3. My ex could squeeze a nickel till the bull shit! He was to stupid to read the grocery receipt tho. I’d always take ten or more cash back when I grocery shopped at Walmart and he didn’t have a clue!!

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  4. I don't keep secrets, but sure as anything, if I did, I wouldn't post it on any social media.
    MC

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  5. That was when a roll was $3.25 .

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    Replies
    1. I 'member a can of Cope was 68 cents. That was 0.07% of my hourly wage then. Today, for a can to be the same %, the hourly would be round about $80.

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  6. I try not to do things that I would be ashamed to tell my wife, with that said I dont tell her everything I do. We've only been married about 10 years and were in our 60's when we married, she envisioned a total melding of finances and every purchase over $50 discussed and permission sought. While we have added each other to our checking accounts and have the passwords to each others stuff, we maintain separate domains and finances. My pension goes into "my" account and hers goes into "her" account

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  7. Wirecutter you seriously dodged a bullet with the first wife, didn't you? Damn...

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    Replies
    1. I don't know about dodging a bullet. I stuck it out for 16 years before I finally said fuck it.

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    2. That's incredible that she was going through receipts in an attempt to find something to use against you, and sweet, poetic justice that all she could find was something that pissed her off like a receipt for Copenhagen.
      Now I understand what you dealt with all the time you were together.

      Delete
  8. I'm too lazy to keep secrets. I am, what I am. Now, do I talk about everything I've done or seen? Nope...but if it comes up...sure, I'll admit to being party to it. At this stage in my life, I'm perfectly happy been an old widow woman and don't need the bother of considering someone else's opinion on how to run my household or life. And it really pisses the doctor, health insurance company and other officious folks off.

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  9. You’re a tougher guy than me, wirecutter…. I chewed Copenhagen for 15 years and sometimes would fall asleep on the couch with a dip in and would inadvertently swallow some. It would wake me up gagging and retching and I would have to spit it out and rinse out my mouth and throat. Ughhh…

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  10. I don't have any real secrets from my wife. There are some things I have been told by others that I have never divulged; but, if my wife asked me about them directly, I would not lie to her. She has known me since I was 25 or so; she has pretty much seen the worst and the best of me. I trust her completely and love her deeply. I believe that my life would be worse if we had not gotten together.

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