*****
I'm one of them. No way in hell am I paying for a piece of ground I can't shoot on, nor am I paying big bucks for a box that people will only see for an hour or two.
Cremate me, dump my ashes in northern Macon County, and have a drink while laughing about some of the shit I pulled in my lifetime. Two thousand bucks, tops, and that includes the price of the liquor.
I want to be field dressed and packed with tannerite. 50 bucks gets you in the firing squad. Whoever finds my head gets the pot after expenses
ReplyDeleteI’ve read that cremation is increasing in price so I told my wife and family just drive me to the nearest dump and throw me out. Haven’t any children and I’m sure as hell not going to be remembered in any historical context, so why spend the money.
ReplyDeleteMadMarlin
Only if you can do direct cremation (within 72 hours, no embalming, limited/no service, etc), and even then 2 grand may be optimistic. If you get a funeral home involved at all, forget it. It's all cost-plus, and "certainly you don't want to use the cheapest options" pitches.
ReplyDeleteDepends on where you live. We had Lisa's son cremated a couple years ago for 1200 bucks.
DeleteIn 2020, my brother's cremation was just over two grand. They may charge by weight. Brother was 6'-4" and weighed a biscuit short of 400 pounds when he died from complications caused by COVID-19.
DeleteSince I paid out of pocket, you can bet your ass I applied for the COVID funeral expenses offered by the gov.
My aunt passed about two months ago and she was cremated. The cost for storage and cremation was exactly $1,200.00. The cost for traditional funerals are quite expensive ( avg. $8,000.00 I'd say) and many families in my area are opting for cremation. I suppose that too will increase in price as the cost of liquid propane is on the rise.
DeleteThank you for validating that $1200 price. I have a feeling most people that I was full of talk.
DeleteI doubt they thought that about you! There is another funeral home in the area that charges $1,800.00 for cremation. I should have clarified that both those prices are for cremation only and doesn't even include the urn. The ashes are in a box.
DeleteMy desire would be to die in the woods and never found. Feed the critters including bugs and add a little dirt to the earth.
ReplyDeleteI could go the sky funeral route, lain out in the wilds and eaten by the ravens.
DeleteI want to be laid to rest in an unmarked grave, in an unmarked field. My casket will be spring loaded, and also have a confetti cannon and air raid siren.
ReplyDeleteSome future archeology team will have a helluva story to tell!
Winner!
DeleteBurial at sea. As my old master chief told me, just take my ashes and toss them over the side of the ship and then pipe sweepers!
ReplyDeleteI was hoping for a sky funeral or maybe a Viking funeral but I sure won't be planted.
ReplyDeleteYep. That's my wishes. And scatter my ashes where I scattered my late brother's ashes...up on Roan Mountain, right at the top at the end of the walkway overlooking the valley and mountains of NC, in the Rhododendron gardens. Maybe save a small amount to scatter at my favorite golf course.
ReplyDeleteAnother option is donating. Medical schools need cadavers. In the Grand Junction, CO there is a "body farm". The cadaver is left out to nature in various ways to improve forensic knowledge. After a suitable time, the remains are given a proper burial.
ReplyDeleteDo not donate your body or organs, you become a commodity.
DeleteHospitals value an organ donor upwards of 650K, so you've just given them an incentive to kill you or simply give you something like Remdesivir for your pneumonia.
The system is corrupted beyond repair. If we are to beat it back into shape we need to stop playing their game. Let them use homeless corpses for their research.
Worst thing ever is embalming. My wife's family dropped $20K+ to turn their mother into a meat mannequin. Would've been nice to get some input before they passed the hat afterwords. I'd go for lowest bidder cremation. What could go wrong? Worst thing that could happen is they stuff your carcass somewhere and give your old lady ashes out of the BBQ.
ReplyDeleteWhy spend the money on cremation when your family can just toss your body out in the woods? The animals need to eat too.
ReplyDeleteIf you're not too squeamish about being parted out, this outfit will cremate the remains of your remains for free.
ReplyDeleteMom set it up before she died & they took care of the rest; even asked where the ashes should be delivered.
https://www.sciencecare.com/free-cremation-benefitting-the-community
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D7g3RuoreRc
ReplyDeleteI want my remains scattered at Disney World, just not cremated.
ReplyDeleteAdmission costs an arm and a leg these days......
DeleteOver Disneyland for me.
DeleteI've told my wife - no box, no embalming. Stick me in the ground and plant a tree on top of me.
ReplyDeleteI'm choosing Tannerite. Funeral at the range, date TBD.
ReplyDeleteYou'd get that two thousand bucks within a few months, if not a few weeks or days, once you finish and publish your book.
ReplyDeleteFucking nag...
ReplyDeleteMy ashes and my dogs' (yep, multiple) are getting chucked out our containers on a high point in the Blue Ridge.
ReplyDeleteTwo grand? Damn, Kenny, is a couple of gallons of gas that expensive over in Macon?
ReplyDelete--Tennessee Budd
(Old Tech) What I do know is there is a very real push for cremations, and they cite all manner of reasoning - yet strangely, the vast majority of "sudden deaths after the jab" are cremated...... why is that?
ReplyDeleteIsn't destruction of evidence also a crime when there is a murder?
Been saying that shit fir years. Fuck the funeral industry.
ReplyDeleteKineo mountain on Moosehead lake, Maine. We scattered Dads ashes there from an airplane, almost dropped the whole bag at once trying to rip it open. Our sons ashes were scattered on the same spot, we rode snowmobiles onto the frozen lake to do it. As we rode to the place the fog was so thick viability was 3" ahead. Got to the place, had a tearful goodby. As we were leaving the fog was lifting. A crow appeared and landed on the cliffs near us and when it left there was a second crow with it.
ReplyDeleteIndian legend I grew up with, a young couple from different tribes forbidden to be together climbed to the top of the cliffs and jumped (Romeo and Juliet style). My wife and I will be cremated and our daughter will shoot us off the cliff with a big ole slingshot.
That's my sacred spot on this earth, google earth Kineo mountain, Rockwood, Maine and you will see why.
Cremation generally requires a very high temp for several hours. Archived using a natural gas fueled crematory. Expect the moronic left to outlaw using gas for such a "environmentally harmful" activity.
ReplyDeleteOur cremation is pre-paid. All the kids have to do is dial an 800 number and the mortuary will pick up the bodies deliver the ashes when they're done. We told them to bake chocolate chip cookies and include the ashes, then serve the cookies at the wake. Everyone gets to take a little bit of us home with them. I don't think they'll do it, but it was worth a try.
ReplyDeleteA few years back I found my great great grandparents grave marker (they died in 1883). The moment I found the marker was the moment I KNEW I had family in the past, it was a connection I'd never had before, I could feel it.
ReplyDeleteThere is something to be said for a marked gravestone, maybe your great grandkids will be looking for a family connection in 140 years?
I don't have any kids or grandkids and to be honest with you, my blood relatives don't give a shit about me. I could care less if they're even notified of my death.
DeleteBefore my cremation, I hope we'll have a grand party. Put my corpse in a flight suit with my Ray-Bans and a smile on my face, a cigar in one hand and a glass of bourbon in the other and let the celebration begin. When I told my bride to put my ashes in The Central Kentucky Veterans Cemetery, she asked "why" as I didn't know anyone there. I simply replied "I know everyone there." regards, Alemaster
DeleteSounds like a great party, Alemaster. Great choice of a place for your ashes, too.
DeleteAgree with cremation however the cost to have it done is a lot higher, a family member passed & the entire cost for the cremation was over 3K by the time you add the cardboard box the body goes into, the actual cremation, the death certificates, the mailing of the remains. If you live in states that The Neptune Society is working give them a call, they have pre-payed plans for cremation. They will pick up the deceased and do all the things needed....you don't have to do anything. My father recently passed and he purchased a plan 30 years earlier and they honored the plan.
ReplyDeleteI'm telling you, I paid 1200 bucks total for Lisa's son's cremation just two years ago. That included everything except for a fancy urn which I declined because my buddy Woody was kind enough to make a very nice box for his ashes. There was also no mailing of his ashes, I drove down to Franklin and picked them up myself.
DeleteRegardless, it beats the shit out of $10,000 or more for a funeral and burial.
For me, cremation, ashes in ammo can, buried next to my late wife in our garden under an American Beech tree.
DeleteI had a daughter who passed in 2011. A little shopping and I found a place to pick up the remains, do the cremation, the paperwork and have the ashes ready to be picked up (they were in a cardboard box) for $500 paid in advance. Loosing a child was really tough on the whole family...
DeleteA few years later I gave the kids $600 to cremate their mother, I believe they used the same place.
On one of the worst days of your life trying to cope with the question, "what would you like to do with the remains?"
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NQDGZVIgR6E
ReplyDeleteMonty Python - Undertaker Sketch
The thought of my body under tons of dirt gives me the creeps. I've got this thing about enclosed spaces. I've made it clear to my gal that cremation and some libation will suit me.
ReplyDeleteAshes, to ashes, dust to dust,...makes sense to me. My mother, father and brother have all had their ashes spread to the wind over the Atlantic ocean.
ReplyDelete