#1 I was that guy once back during my radar school in Biloxi. But TBF, I warned the driver to stop several times, before I couldn't hold it in anymore, and puked all over his new paint job on his car.
Another time, I was trying to leave a room in a bit of a hurry to get to the latrine, when a buddy walked in, stood in my way and tried to start a conversation. I was holding my hand over my mouth and he wouldn't move, so I puked all over his shoes. I had just drank a fifth of Tequila and smoked more than a couple of bowls of morphine laced Hashish, so I was "Fu@ked up as a football bat", as they say.
re #10, my s.o. has a daughter like that, and when she dresses up, its so very hard to have a conversation with her because her sweater puppies are just straining to say hi.
re: #20 - been there, done that, even when I was a courier.
1- cops pulled up on my friend (passenger) and I (driver) as I was stopped on the road with 3 bald and flat tires about 2 am. Asked the guy if he knew where I could get one of em fixed cause I only had two spares. He laughed and drove off.
#5 is my brother's ex-wife. She was too cheap to buy toilet paper so she carried a big black purse and stole it from public bathrooms, store restrooms, and even friends and family. She thought that buying toilet paper was literally flushing money so she would steal and hoard it instead.
Well I waited it out and the #20 came into view. That's how I feel pretty much everyday lately
ReplyDeleteWhen one can change water to wine can they also change water into everclear? Asking for a friend.
Delete#1 I was that guy once back during my radar school in Biloxi. But TBF, I warned the driver to stop several times, before I couldn't hold it in anymore, and puked all over his new paint job on his car.
ReplyDeleteAnother time, I was trying to leave a room in a bit of a hurry to get to the latrine, when a buddy walked in, stood in my way and tried to start a conversation. I was holding my hand over my mouth and he wouldn't move, so I puked all over his shoes. I had just drank a fifth of Tequila and smoked more than a couple of bowls of morphine laced Hashish, so I was "Fu@ked up as a football bat", as they say.
#10 - the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth
ReplyDelete#15 for the absolute win!!
re #10, my s.o. has a daughter like that, and when she dresses up, its so very hard to have a conversation with her because her sweater puppies are just straining to say hi.
Deletere: #20 - been there, done that, even when I was a courier.
I second #15 for the win. Nothing wrong with a little NJP.
DeleteKlaus
Every good Navy Chief wore red insignia for a bit. It took me to year 14 to get gold. Back in the day anyway - not sure today.
Delete#19. That is a good one!
ReplyDelete1- cops pulled up on my friend (passenger) and I (driver) as I was stopped on the road with 3 bald and flat tires about 2 am. Asked the guy if he knew where I could get one of em fixed cause I only had two spares. He laughed and drove off.
ReplyDeleteHer: "My eyes are up here."
ReplyDeleteMe: "But your tits are down there."
#10 She has eyes?
ReplyDelete#5 is my brother's ex-wife. She was too cheap to buy toilet paper so she carried a big black purse and stole it from public bathrooms, store restrooms, and even friends and family. She thought that buying toilet paper was literally flushing money so she would steal and hoard it instead.
ReplyDelete#2- Kurt Kanoom!
ReplyDelete