Hari the Hindu says, "You going to win, buddy? What you gone buy?"
I thought about it for a quick second and said, "Oh, the usual. New truck, new boat, new tractor..."
"New home," he interrupts with a grin.
"New wife," I continued.
I thought he was going to shit himself with that one and the entire store fell out laughing at the expression on his face.
I hope you do
ReplyDeleteby the way if you do win i think we are related
I'm with you. If I win (and that aint gonna happen,) I'm going to offer quite a few women the chance to be come millionaires. I know at least one will probably refuse my offer, but that isn't going to stop me from making it...
ReplyDeletethe first thing to do is get a damn good lawyer ! the only ones who "win' on the lottery is the gov't clowns. even if you do win, the odds of you ending up happy are almost nil.
ReplyDeleteget a nice house/farm , whatever. put some away for TAXES. get a few toys maybe.
give the rest away to some GOOD charity maybe set up a few trust funds for the kids schooling, and. the problem with getting a new wife is she will be there only for the money.
I don't play Lotto because the odds of winning are way too vast. However, I play a game with almost 50-50 odds. It's called the lottery of life every time I get into my car and expose myself to all the hyper confrontational assholes on the road.
ReplyDeleteDamn dude, you driving around exposing yourself to already confrontational assholes? Nobody wants to see that, confrontational or happy.
DeleteMadMarlin
I certainly would not buy a new wife. I might rent one, on occasion.
ReplyDelete"If it floats, flies or fucks, rent, don't buy."
DeleteCongratulations, I know yer gonna win. Also, congratulations for having a wife/partner that can take a freakin joke. Most in here know how you feel about her. Half of my wifes and my communications are being witty with one another. She's the best.
ReplyDeleteIt gets better. When Lisa was laughing about it with her mother, Sue told her no, I shouldn't get a new wife, just a new 'lady friend'.
DeleteWell, some of us know Lisa's folks like you best. I know I'd like your family in a heartbeat. My kind of people.
DeleteFirst item is a new home security system. Something better than Paul Pelosi had.
ReplyDeleteMy wife and I have pondered what we would do if against all the odds we happen to hit it. The very first thing we would do is we would opt for anonymity and not tell anyone until all the hoopla dies down. Then, like anonymous above says, we would get a good lawyer and a financial advisor.
ReplyDeleteThe very first thing any money would be spent on is the tithe, followed by paying off everything.
As far as charity spending, I thought about going around my local area and start paying off the mortgages on all of our local churches - anonymously, of course.
If it's a really big one, I might set aside a million or two for new toys, but mostly, I would travel while I still can.
Best of luck to everyone who bought a ticket. I haven’t and won’t. The Lottery is a voluntary tax for the mathematically inept and I refuse to pay any more tax to the State of Massholechusetts or any other State. They will just blow it.
ReplyDeleteBetter walk that one about the you know who back, Wirecutter. You never know, she might see it and buy some tix herself!!!
ReplyDeleteDon't take it too seriously. What I or my wife do with a couple of **our** bucks every now and then is nobodies business but ours. What you do or don't do with **your** two bucks is nobodies business but yours.
ReplyDelete(Sheesh, you guys are worse than vegans sometimes.)
I don't know too many people, so those I do know would be in for a huge surprise.
ReplyDeleteCC
Don't say anything about winning the lottery, first call everybody you know and ask to borrow $500.
ReplyDelete