No big deal, he's done it before - several times. So I counter-attacked and kicked him with the side of my foot, sending his fat ass rolling.
Well, that pissed him off, so he attacked again. Another boot and he was rolling again. Then he got up, shook himself off and attacked again, and then it was my turn to get pissed. I pulled my 357 and shot his uppity ass.
No rooster no more.
You gave him more than a fair shake. Enjoy him on the grill, with some Sweet Baby Ray’s.
ReplyDeleteNot after drilling him with a 357 magnum.
DeleteGlad to hear the Model 65 is getting some exercise.
DeleteMaybe some McNuggets with a side order of feathers.
DeleteHiker Mike
Ahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahah
DeleteSteve in KY
Elmo - Charter Arms Magnum Pug.
DeleteAh. The pocket Winter carry. Forgot about that one.
DeleteThat little gun is so nice to carry that it's been my full time gun for a year now. I even bought a nice holster for it too.
DeleteI recently picked up a Charter Arms Bulldog Classic that I like a lot. Not many holster options out there.
DeleteMy mother had a cutting board with a pic and "Chicken today, feathers tomorrow." In this case it's feathers today. What was left was probably well tenderized.
Deletehttps://www.mernickleholsters.com. Good holsters. I carry a Charter Arms BullDog in .44 Special using a Mernicle holster every day.
DeleteFAFO.
ReplyDelete2.5 fucked around, found out.
ReplyDeleteLearned a lesson he'll never have to remember.
DeleteAnd now the rest of the Bunch has been put on notice.....
ReplyDeleteOh shit, they immediately hauled ass for their coop and they haven't come back out since.
DeleteAnd who could blame 'em?
Deletedone that a time or two on roosters that attacked my wife or sis in law. Usually 22 from 15 feet.
ReplyDeleteBet that made a real cloud of feathers.
ReplyDeleteOne big poof.
DeleteOnce many years ago, while hunting elk, I and my hunting partner encountered a feral orange tabby cat. We were probably about 15 miles from the closest ranch. My hunting partner lit up the cat from about 70 yards with his sporterized .303 Enfield. There was a large "poof" of orange and then nothing....
DeleteGood use of that bullet.
DeleteThe sounds like pure self-defense.
ReplyDeleteNo jury would convict.
DeleteWe (mostly the wife) have been raising chickens for about 15 yrs... Had a few roosters get some wall to wall counselling with steel toe boots, I have learned to never stop when they give in/up...., I chase their ass around for about 5 minutes kicking them every time they get in range... they learn (if they survive) who is top rooster in the pen...
ReplyDeleteI tried and I tried and I tried.
DeleteOne day he's keeping the ladies warm like a good rooster and the next he's tryna kill you. The line between total stud and psycho killer is too thin, but maybe he's sired a more well-rounded future rooster already... a hen possibly imparting some mellower genes...? Anyway, if Jack was watching, maybe he'll lay off now. Heh.
ReplyDelete--nines
That asshole dog Jack got a good laugh at it. That rooster's jumped him before too.
DeleteMade an exciting morning
ReplyDeleteWhat, you didn't call a social worker to 'de-escalate' the situation? This frontier justice nonsense will have to cease. Someone could really get hurt.
ReplyDeleteIf only we had Common Sense Rooster Control.
DeleteWinner, Winner.........chicken dinner!
ReplyDeleteI'll make a guess, 125gr hollow point?
ReplyDeleteClose enough. 130gr Federal Hydra-Shok.
DeleteOooh, nice choice, a nice plump meaty bird should offer enough resistance to get that bullet expanding.
DeleteI know a farmer that gets pest permits or something like that for a Canada goose problem. He assures me that a 223 makes an excellent goose gun.
Mine's name is Shithead. Regular pinnings against the fence or the side of the coop with a rake when he starts acting up sets him back in his place for a while. He keeps his distance afterwards. He lost a spur the hard way by being an asshole. On the other hand, he does a good job with the flock. Don't think for a moment I haven't thought about blasting him.
ReplyDeleteLMFAO.
ReplyDeleteOnly Kenny.
Funniest thing I've read all week.
ReplyDeleteYeah, 2.5 isn't laughing now.
DeleteMe. too.
DeleteShell
Every time my dad says I need roosters to protect my hens, I just think about all the times I didn't, but really wanted to kill the family roosters when growing up.
ReplyDeleteBeen there. Got the t-shirt. Good for y'all
ReplyDeleteStory of the day!
ReplyDeleteBTW, do roosters taste good?
If you butcher them young and it doesn't have chunks of lead and copper in it.
DeleteThat's some funny shit. I'm actually laughing out loud.
DeleteThat's funny. Didn't feel a thing.
ReplyDeleteSorry to hear about the uppity rooster. Now you got to go find another and beat his ass till he knows who top dog is. Did you point shoot or take actual aim? Seems like a good place for point shooting.
ReplyDeleteIt was pretty much point blank range. Less than 4 feet from muzzle to cock.
DeleteThat's just wrong. He dindu nuffin and besides he was getting his life back together...
ReplyDeleteShot that motherfucker in the back, too.
DeleteFekkin cold, man.
DeleteFuck him. My sister in law has an asshole rooster. He loves to attack from your six. I've kicked that fucker over 10 ft before and he comes back for more. I'd a killed his ass already, but he ain't mine. Good for you. You don't need that shit.
DeleteI have 2 roosters. Bubba and Aux(Auxillary Rooster). Bubba is my guard rooster, he does go after strangers. He leaves the dog alone, has come at me a couple of times. I take my foot and get under him and launch him as far back as I can get him, then immediately advance after him and chase him around. I also chase him if we just bump into one another (they free range during the day). He got some frostbite on the comb during the big freeze which made him a bit meaner and required another launch. He does good watching out for predators. Blue Heron flew overhead and he scrambled the flock into the bushes. He's not hard on the ladies either. Not the perfect rooster but he gets a pass for now.
ReplyDeleteAm I a bad person because I laughed trying to visualize this????
ReplyDeleteI don't think you're the only one.
Delete"I say old chap, where is 2.5?"
ReplyDeleteWell sah, he's over there...aaand he's over there...and he's over there...
Had a rooster I knocked unconscious with one of my shepherd crook cane poles. He laid there for hours. I thought he was dead then he got back up and came looking for me again. Some of them never learn. IN fact been my experience none of them learn and when they get mean just do em in and get another. Roosters are easy to find and get, too easy to put up with a mean ornery one at all.
ReplyDeleteI kinda liked this one. Most of the time he was pretty cool, even eating out of my hand sometime, but damn, when he got a hair up his ass, it was on.
DeleteWhat pissed me off was you couldn't read him at all. I'd let him and his bitches out in the morning and he'd walk past me 6 inches away and not give my leg a second look, then he'd let me change the water and clean the henhouse, everything was cool, then as soon as I'd turn my back to lock the shed, he'd ambush me. Fucker.
Ex said the guinea hens were bullying the chickens. Told the kids to catch em. No bueno. Fuck this, it's late. Grabbed the Mossberg with bird shot, told the kids to get behind me, and solved that problem in 5 minutes.
ReplyDeleteAnother morning, after the divorce, I was asleep and two roosters started crowing- but I had no chickens. WTF? walked outside, this time with 00 loaded- and got the two interlopers on one branch with one shot.
Today, Sampson manages the girls very well, and is a gentleman. (He's a Leghorn.) If you are polite, I am too.
Bird brain. ‘Nuff said.
ReplyDelete(But a wheel gun?
Steve the Engineer
We had a rooster that kept trying to flog my Grandmother when she'd go feed the hens. There was an incident involving a pine stump and a chopping axe that solved that problem:)
ReplyDelete"Bye bye birdie" he deserved it. He was always a little "cocky" I'm afraid of roosters had a friend that had his eye gouged out by talon.
ReplyDeleteI had a game rooster jump me once-dug his spurs in to the bone on my shin. I kicked him about 50 feet. After that he calmed down.
ReplyDeleteThis is the exact reason after the second a-hole rooster I decided we did not need one. The hens healed up and never missed a beat laying eggs. Plus, nobody had to constantly keep looking over their shoulder, trying to keep an eye on the rooster.
ReplyDeleteMy octogenarian neighbor once told me about an aggressive tom turkey he had. One day the thing rushed him and right as it ran under the bucket of Ol Bob's backhoe he reached over and slapped the down lever and presto, it was a very flat turkey.
ReplyDeleteDon in Oregon
I picked our rooster up when his tail feathers started to come out and carried him around like a baby. Pet him and talked baby talk to him. He's scared shitless of me now.
ReplyDeleteFor future roosters and other assorted fowl, a badminton racquet is a lightsaber. Bird heads look and act just like shuttlecocks. Have fun.
ReplyDeleteCan't help re-seeing that photo of a roo holding a hawk down on his back, wings spread. The trick seems to be getting a roo with just the right amount of meanness. Cool story, bro.
ReplyDeleteEvery rooster I have ever had eventually picked a specific hen and just beat the hell out of her; maybe making an example out of her. The last boy got #8 shot from about 12 or 15 feet away after I caught him beating the hell out of one of the girls. He was a smear of meat, blood, and feathers when I got done with his ass. The hens were not bothered a bit. No more roosters.
ReplyDeleteTwo Point Five didn't pick on any particular hen or pullet, just whoever his fat ass could sneak up on and he wasn't nearly as rough on them as some roosters I've seen, but I'll be damned if I'm going to be walking around my property looking over my shoulder.
DeleteI liked him a lot better when he was scared of me, but he just kept getting bolder and bolder as he got older. Like you, no more roosters.
The comments on this article are some of the funniest things I've read in ages!
ReplyDeleteNemo
My German Shepherd is pretty well trained. He just sits back and watches as I let the birds out.
ReplyDeleteWe have one "mini" rooster with a big-man complex. He occasionally likes to try and attack.
One morning I let the birds out, turned around to start walking back inside, and next thing I hear the rapid jingle of the dog collar tag. I turn around to see the rooster about 3 feet away, hurtling through the air, spurs aimed right at me....and the dog about 2 inches away from the roster...in flight....jaws open.
I heard the "clack" as his jaws closed around part of the rooster, followed by some horrific rooster noises.
It didn't kill the rooster, but it stunned him pretty bad. The dog immediately dropped him and stood over him while glancing back at me.
After 30 seconds or so of barking at the rooster, mini got up and ran like hell. The dog turned around and followed me back inside.
He got sausages. Good boy.
A 357 slug is a persuasive hint.
ReplyDeletePersuasive AND final.
DeleteBack in about '57 or so(I would have been 3), all the farm neighbors heard a gunshot at our house. Since everybody knew the Ol' Man was out in the field on a tractor, they all came flying down the road to our farmhouse since they knew it would have been just me and my pregnant Mother. My Uncle told me years later that it was like a NASCAR race with people flying up the road and into our driveway. He said it was funnier than hell seeing Rhode Island Red rooster guts and feathers all over our front yard.....evidently a .243 does a hell of a number on rooster's chasing 3 year old screaming kids....
ReplyDeleteI needed that belly laugh. Thanks, Kenny.
ReplyDeleteShell
It would have been interesting to try wearing a mask with eyes on the back of your head and see what he would have done. Not as a long term option but just to experiment. https://www.naturepl.com/stock-photo-fishermen-wearing-masks-to-protect-from-tiger-attack-sunderband-w-image01032757.html Indians use them to ward off tiger attacks. Nature uses "eye-like" patterns as protection in many different species Including butterflies.
ReplyDelete