WTF do women in #1 think? That a typical light fixture can support 200 times the weight of the light? That a couple of sheetrock anchors and drywall screws can hold up your fat ass? That the guy who installed it 20 years ago saw ahead to some dingbat swinging on it and thoughtfully attached it the ceiling joists with heavy chains?
Long ago and far away, I was eating some jalapeƱo bean dip and my cat wanted some. So being the nice guy I am, I shared, he loved it. A while later he started ripping the worst farts I’ve ever smelled. The bean dip may have caused him some distress considering the vocalizing he did when he was farting.
#1 Where's #1
ReplyDeleteRight there above #2.
DeleteHa!
Deletehidden above #1
DeleteLoved # 8, nothing more fun than kids' sports
ReplyDeleteWTF do women in #1 think? That a typical light fixture can support 200 times the weight of the light? That a couple of sheetrock anchors and drywall screws can hold up your fat ass? That the guy who installed it 20 years ago saw ahead to some dingbat swinging on it and thoughtfully attached it the ceiling joists with heavy chains?
ReplyDeleteLefty loosy righty tighty - just spinnin' the wrong way
DeleteWhat happens when you tell a blond to unscrew the light bulb?
DeleteBlondes only screw they don't unscrew
DeleteDo they not all come with slip rings.
DeleteI mean the spinning lights. Not the spinner.
#10 Cats fart??? Who knew...
ReplyDeleteYou never had a cat, I see. Yes indeed, they do, and they'll peel wallpaper.
DeleteMouse’s soul going to heaven…
DeleteCat farts are third only to snake shit and de-feathering chickens...
DeleteLong ago and far away, I was eating some jalapeƱo bean dip and my cat wanted some. So being the nice guy I am, I shared, he loved it. A while later he started ripping the worst farts I’ve ever smelled. The bean dip may have caused him some distress considering the vocalizing he did when he was farting.
DeleteFarting cats! Lol
ReplyDelete#9 I think I'd make 2 trips
ReplyDeleteThat also applies to #7.
Delete#7 - Me Jane Show Tarzan How It's Done !!
ReplyDelete#10 - "It wasn't me and you can't prove a thing !"
I guess soccer players don’t wear cups.
ReplyDeleteDo more outrageous drama queens or bigger pussies exist in all of sportsball than in soccer?
ReplyDeleteNot that I care.
#7 Rent is due, you gotta give it up!
ReplyDelete#5- Tuesday is Soylent Green day. Soylent Green is available on Tuesday.
ReplyDelete#10 Spot the vegan.
ReplyDelete#6 Echidnas?
#2 Oblivious is no way to go through life. (Usually.)
#10 - Rover! Get out from under the dinner table!!!
ReplyDelete#1 No Darwin award because she wasn't seriously hurt, but d@mn what an idiot.
ReplyDelete#10 - Infrared camera cats. I own two FLIR®, a B-CAM SD & a MD-176.
ReplyDelete#3: He is in absolute terror.
ReplyDeleteThose times when you do something you absolutely did NOT mean to do but just DID do and it's NOT a dream.
- Arc
#3 I dindu nuffin !
ReplyDelete#3 soccer would almost be watchable they got rid of the goal nets and the big white ball and awarded points by kicking the opponents in the ballsack.
ReplyDelete