Brittany Parker said she was concerned for her safety when she saw the monkey acting erratically on her front porch.
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She became concerned when it started acting erratically? I'd have been concerned as soon as I saw a monkey on my porch in Oklahoma.
Sounds like a job for Joe Exotic.
ReplyDeleteOk, Ok, Forgive me but I'll be the first to say it; porch monkey.
ReplyDeleteNo, it was a yard ape out of his element.
DeleteI hate those damn monkeys (tree rats).
ReplyDeleteMonkeys, joggers, they're everywhere....
ReplyDelete"I'd have been concerned as soon as I saw a monkey on my porch in Oklahoma " Depends on the neighborhood, there is a lotta shifty stuff going on in Oklahoma.
ReplyDeleteFlorida is the wildcard - pythons, tigers and who knows what else. One of the few states keeping an elephant rifle behind the door is a good idea.
Florida - the gold standard by which all other state eccentricities are judged.
DeletePorch Monkey??? Ha, ha, that's raciissssstt
ReplyDelete@luis
A monkey on my porch in Oklahoma? Probably somebody's pet.
ReplyDeleteI live a half mile from the Yerkes Primate Research Center whey they infect monkeys with all kinds of nasty diseases and experiment on them. A monkey on my porch? OH SHIT!
A porch monkey?
ReplyDeleteMaybe she thought it was a little bigfoot and was gonna pet it. They be some strange things in Oklahoma
ReplyDeleteBackwoods Okie
Here's my question, how does your typical Okie know when a monkey is acting erratically? In any case she got off easy just losing an ear. I'd still sue the pants off the neighbor and their insurance company, who I'm sure will be surprised to learn that their client owned a monkey. Save those photos, it'll never go to a jury, they'll just write you a check.
ReplyDeleteIn OK...it'll go to a jury. Then to an appeals court, then OK Supreme court. Call Pepper, he wins!
DeleteIt may not be such a big payday for her if the insurance policy doesn't cover that incident. Then she will be stuck trying to get whatever little money she can from the neighbor.
DeleteOh shit! Shoot it fast. It’s on your property, right? Shoot it. Don’t even give it a chance to get near you. They should be running away from you not advancing. If it’s making its way to you and you do not drop it, nothing but bad shit is the result. Learned that in Africa. The most dangerous is the Baboon, or a troop of Baboons. Ask me how I know.
ReplyDeleteI believe it used to be called a congress of baboons, but apparently all the primates petitioned the grammar nazi’s to be called a troop as being a member of congress was too derogatory.
DeleteSomething doesn't add up. The monkey didn't attack the police officer, but did attack the woman when she came out of her house, and then later attacked a family friend when he arrived. Makes you wonder what those folks might have previously done to the monkey to make it hate them so much.
ReplyDeleteHahaha, A good friend and neighbor of mine told me about his father, who was quite the horse trader back in the day, acquiring a monkey somehow and chaining it up to the front porch. He had a box or something under it for shelter and the monkey lived there. He told me the traveling salesman traffic dropped to zero as the monkey would attack anything within the limits of the chain, if a stray dog, male or female got within range it got fucked too.
ReplyDeleteOne of his brothers (there were 13 children) would tease the monkey Foghorn Leghorn style at the end of the chain and the monkey learned to lay in wait for him and attack him when he wasn't looking.
One morning 2 RACoon hunting dogs arrived at the house and the old man tied them up to wait on the owners to show up and when they did they bet the old man the dogs could kill the monkey. He turned the monkey loose and with the dogs in hot pursuit he led them into a brush pile not far from the house and killed them both. The old man collected his money, told them they could retrieve the dogs if they wished, and bid them good day.
Wouldn't have wanted to tangle with that monkey!
HTR
A monkey monkey?
ReplyDeleteOh......
My bad.
I hate simians. Ya, and them too
ReplyDelete